Never Say Good Bye

 

12-30-2014

Due to Privacy I have chosen to leave some names out:

Saying Good-bye to late:

In my recent post, I referrenced about Never Say Good Bye, Always See You Later, well that didn’t happen this time. Recently our neighborhood had lost a mainstay. My time with 
Here is how I meet  the first Lady I know that lived to 100 years,
I was at her neighbors’ house one day painting his garage doors, that day I had spent a few hours there and had began to tell me about his neighbor, that she had just had  her 100th birthday, within that last couple of weeks. How he and his wife keep watch an eye on her, having been alone since her husbands passing, in the early 2000’s. He proceded to explain how they had never had children, all she had left was her nephew who goes shopping for her and neice takes her for her appointments.
I recieved a call from him the next day stating 
that his neighbor had seen me out painting his garage and would like to hire me to do some painting for her giving me her phone number, so I called her and explained who I was and almost immediatly, she continues to tell me what she wants done. So I  tell her that I am on my way up to find out what exactly needs to be done. She says “Do you want me to open the garage door, I will be waiting at the door, I am thinking to myself she is fiesty to site there that time of the day door unlocked, and alone.”
My reply was not right now, I will call you when I get closer, As I got close enough to where I could see the front door and the garage at the same time, worried about safety.  As I got closer to the garage where I could see better, I seen this very short lady sitting on a walker. Walking into the garage I introduced myself to her and she bluntly says with a stare that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, that didn’t talk long, trying to explain that I only lived about a half mile from her she says (this is what I want done).
How many of you (are/were about to hire to do some work for you wouldn’t) want to know more about that person, before you hired him/her. 

 That wasn’t the case with myself, and probably many others.  (Thanks to her neighbor don’t know what you told her but it must have been something nice enough for this Lady to trust me as much as she did, (just keep it to yourself we don’t want it getting out.)

Now as I had ended work for that day we sat in the living room drinking cold coffee and water, tring to figure out what was the next day to finish, she was say well I can’t due Saturday because I have a doctors appointment, and I thought to myself, wait her appointments are on Saturday, I have never heard of that. So I said I could return the following Monday in the afternoon (not really wanting to wait that long) “she replied “thats fine I stay up until around 12 -1 am and gets back up at 5 am to get my house work done” now I am thinking where is she getting all this spunk from, I very seldom catch her taking a nap during the day. When I returned on Monday I called  saying “Hello Sweetie”  and like before she opened the garage door, Now this happened from then on, using one or other door always being greeted  with a smile. We sat for a little while and talked and she began to tell me a little more, about how she had seen me painting her neighbors garage and that she had two other people who had said they would do it but never returned to do the job.
So I told her that I would do the painting she wanted done, she said she would buy the supplies, asking how much I would charge. I told her we would discuss that after the job was done. It took a few days not only was the first area needed a good painting but also I found she had some great history that I could learn from. On this day  That’s when she told me that she had been homebound since her husband  had passed away in 2003, only being able to go out for her appointments. She proceded to tell me that the agency that helps those of her age with handicap ramps would have to pay between $500.00 and $1000.00  what they didn’t tell her was, that was to attach it to the outside of her home not in her garage and that she told them she could afford, it being on a strict income. When she told me that they wouldn’t stop calling and told her that she had to go through them, I told her to tell them if they didn’t her son was going to get on the phone if  I was there, Don’t know if she ever had to.  Now making two handicap ramps within the last 2 years, I looked at her and said I could make a ramp for you, as I said this I told her if it was  fixed to the outside we have to get a builders permit which would cost more and she would have to go by city code which meant a different design or it would have to be put in storage when not in use, after looking out the garage door I said thewe could put one right here and not worry about all the red tape.  The next day, I got started on that project.  I said my son would like to know if she knew anything about the slave days just incase he had history project on this subject, could he ask her about her experience with it. She told me that she would have a paper for me to give him.  Again taking my time, but wanting to make sure that she was safe, and always ending the night with another history lesson, also getting the paper she had wrote for my son.

The day after I went back up to her’ house to finish up and I asked her if she wanted to test it out so after getting her out side she had a great time in the sun and a cool breeze she asked to be left in that spot, have to go somewhere real quick, she says you can leave me here, and I  say that’s not going to happen your niece and nephew will kill me, So happy but sad because she was out but had to go back in to soon. There was another day I had found a map of the of the United States, asking her she told me that she made it as she traveled across the U.S. after she
Soon I had all the work was until summer  of 2015 and visits continued but not as much it was mostly phone calls were more frequent, calling to see how she was.
I had visited her a few other times at home my last being on Thanksgiving Day when I brought her some dinner, turkey the works four or five different desserts bringing a total of about five different storage bowls of different sizes with a reply (OH Thank You) this will last me a week.  until I found out through others that she was in the rehabilitation home due to a  recent fall and chipped a bone in leg. After finding this out I called her neighbor to inform him. So then I visited her at the home three times the most memorable time was on Christmas day, Again I had packaged up a little Christmas Dinner. Only finding out that she was going out with her family for Christmas, Now this made me happy because she was able to get out for Christmas. So the food I brought over was put in fridge for her, (not enough to last a week, the nurses wouldn’t like that).
I stayed there visiting until her neice showed up and I had left in a  hurry not to waste time, so they could get her coat on, to began there Christmas Holiday, Forgetting to say “See you Later”  That was the last day I had a chance to visit with her.

(So Please remember to say “See You Later” because it could be the last time you see them.)

 

 

 

chris
(So Please in closing forgive all who have done you wrong, cherish what you have, love everyone, and live life to the fullest) !
W
hich is something Mollie did and passed a legacy on for all who knew her.

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A New Life

July 4th Kentwood , Mi.In the old life a sad state of mind, one a of a different kind. Worried about doctors and misfiring electrical, not to dismis medical. Still wondering when it will misfire, or if a job will hire.
But after I missed the last test, my brain was at rest. Ending up in Mi. City Indiana, Wishing it could’ve been Little Havana. Without a care in the world, through Southern Mi, we whirled. Left to right, North to South, talking or a zipped mouth. Watching for City Kitties, Or County Mounties. Wondering was there was a reason, would I have been kept in a prison. Being in a vegative state for life, never again able to hold my wife. Not being able to see my family, here at home would be a catastrophe.
I love it here were I reside, On Grand Rapids South side. With my families love so strong, being together for so long. So as this year ends a new year begins. I can only look ahead to what is in store, sharing my love for them much more. As night comes to a close and we say goodnight, they disappear out of sight.
The joy of their faces the next morning, a sight too adoring, My granddaughter with her head bouncing up and down, comes from her room rubbing those big eyes of baby brown. Her mother close behind with a ball of fur hot on her heels, my daughter whishing she had wheels.
Barking and biting at her pant legs all the way, This is the start of a bright and new  day.

Warning:

This post is going to be a strange one !
Recently we had a tornado hit a few miles south of us. Wood TV 8 has detailed stories and videos from land and air of the destruction. As I was in the basement doing some laundry I heard my wife yelling then my son run down stairs with my granddaughter, some time later I came upstairs to hear the stories of how the blind in the dining room by my wife had gone straight up as if someone was raising it, the empty pop cans in my son- in- laws  room had begone to swirl around the room in circles. What had happened was we had been caught in the outer winds of this tornado. We had no clue what had happened until later early morning when it was delcared an EF -1  that had just formed out of no where without warning the National Weather Service didn’t even see it on radar.  It had taken down a tree across the street pulling up a good chunck of the sidewalk with it and blocking the first lane northbound,The next day I went out and found some branches on the ground, the drainspout was knocked of the S.W. corner of the house and one of the shingles was found on the ground, a mile down the road a buildings roof caved in, trees where down all over the place, one house across the street to the North ended up with a tree in his frontroom. I had relief mostly that no one was hurt but it hit that all the families that lost their homes.

Enough of the errie stuff over the next couple of days while I was out doing other things I thought to myself Thank God we could have gotten worse.  The next morning I received a call from my dad asking if we were ok because he had seen on the news that the tornado had hit near us so I had told him what little damage we received, thinking the whole time why was he worried or even called because I hadn’t even heard from him in probably a couple of weeks because of a little situation we had between us, but that only goes to say that through the worst of times family is still there to check on you when you don’t realize or expect it. I didn’t even know that he had seen the news, but I think he watched the news after he got a glimpse of my sisters facebook page after it was posted to my wifes wall. So while others had to rebuild  fix wholes in their roofs, clean up debri, and all the other things that need to be taken care of when a tornado rips through the area, all I had to worry about was a few branches, a shingle and hanging upside down from the roof to fix the drainspout. As if that wasn’t scary enough. I would have to say it wasn’t the first time I have had to make this (dasterdly blood rushing to the brian chore,) but it was something that had to be done. While I was up on the roof after the job was done and I was no longer hanging upside, I still had a feeling of I had God to thank for the little damage that we did receive and that I had to be Greatful that no one was injured or killed. I still have never been in the path of a tornado, and honestly I don’t want to be.

There was recently a post on Face Book that I would like to share.
Cherish

Which also brings me to  another saying that I learned along time ago from a pastor/ friend of mine. Don’t ever say good bye, Always see you later, because you never know if that will be the last time you see them in this life, but you will see them again as long as you are living for God.
Now you say it is hard for you to forget something that someone has done to you. Well I say sure it is, No one said it was going to be, I have a hard time forgetting what my dad did to me and all though I have not officially told him I forgive you, I don’t hold a grudge towards him. I chose to go on with my life and although it still hits me know and then, it is like my epilepsy I think about it for a little while and then it is on with my life. Just like most of you some that has happened in your life, you tend to think about it and then it is gone.  Just as that tornado it came in without warning, your loved one or even you could be taken without warning. Another case in point I was in church about a month and a half ago, and about fifteen minutes into the service I noticed a man  leaving the sancturary pushing an older lady out that was in a wheel chair, as they passed me, her left arm went limp and fell off the arm of the wheel chair. I knew then that the family was going to be mourning this lose. It was a big reminder for all who was there and seen the medics after service.

(So Please in closing forgive all who have done you wrong, cherish what you have, love everyone, and live life to the fullest) !

 

Hate:

Hate: a strong word, that describes a feeling towards someone that has done you wrong. It is used so often that people don’t care how much it hurts a person. To most people it feels like being stabbed with a knife. Just as most of you have been told “I Hate You”, I also have been told that numerous times, I have also told other people that, even said it to people that didn’t deserve it. The that I feel should have been told that was my father was never told. Was it out of RESPECT, or was it the fact I was trying to hold onto something I thought was still there.
I have come to the point however that I can’t recall the last time I have actually said that to someone. I Pray that all you parents, friends, children, and and especially the bullies, will learn how much just the simple, lonely word hate can cut the soul of someone deep and this can cause people to do things to do some very serious crimes or worse.
Even though I have many times thought about using it, I just couldn’t even after it has been said to me, which has been to many times, Thank God.

The time it really hurts to the point that you  really get upset and want to do something such as smack the person, go off some place and cry is when it comes from a child, that just got a little scolding for something they did wrong, you try to explain to them what they did wrong, their consequences, and then there comes that three word statement, I HATE YOU, then what do you do. Myself all I do is look at the person I am talking to is say you will see, it may take awhile but what you do to others will come back to haunt you.
Love all , no matter what he does, show them that you will continue to love them no matter what they have done.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18%3A21-22&version=NIV

I have also told many people that you will say the I hate you to some one, they will take it to heart and that will be the last time you will see him/her until their funeral, if you’re even notified at that time. It is easy to say I am sorry for the harsh words I have said to you, after the person(s) is gone. So with that being let me end with this piece of advice, Please choose your words carefully. Remember the statement, ( If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say nothing.

Marriage:

Many times it is easy to have or to atleast say that you have a great marriage, no problems, ect. Most times it isn’t the case, Problems arise from the lie ( there are no problems ). People need to confess their faults. Be truthful, with their spouses and family and friends. The trust of these people all depend on the honesty from all.

Ex. Recently I had a secret I was hiding from my wife ( no it wasn’t infidelity )  this was going on for about three months. But the point is when I finally told her it was a big surprise to her and a blow to her, however telling her was a big weight off me. Sure she mixed feelings, she didn’t like the situation, but she was thankful for the honesty. I know she thinks about it.
Being honest will help in many ways, and if every one stops to think about the first part of this line you can come up with the many ways themselves.

With marriage that is sometimes the hardest thing to do, first your relationship starts as a friendship and if honesty isn’t in the relationship one hundred percent before the wedding and the other finds out, is there going to be a wedding second if there is a wedding is there going to be a divorce because the dishonesty, if a person is  because the first thing people intend to look at the divorce card or worse (especially in these days). However with mine, I have failed my wife so many times so could have very easily found a legit reason to leave. and we have been married for 20 years as of  5-13, but we have been able to keep are marriage together,

This principal also goes for friends, a person is only going to call you friend as long as you are honest with them.  Yes a move in residence may happen on either side but if a friendship does not end on a good note, there wont be the ability to communicate after the move is done won’t be there.
This friendship may resurface later down the road but there will be alot of trust rebuilding and sometimes the slightest mistake could end it all over again, usually never to resurface.
Another situation which also included my wife at our 20th anniversary was a relationship breaker between my father and I, when I didn’t receive an invite,  he found out when I posted pictures I received a call from him the last word he said to me was Goodbye and hung up.
Fathers Day morning I posted Happy Fathers Day to all fathers including my father who is upset with me at the present time. The next morning I received a call from him with a Happy Fathers’ Day in turn I said Happy Fathers Day to him, he proceeded to tell me it was a joke, later he says well how would you feel if your son didn’t invite you. My response to that was “Apparently there was a reason for it” his response was ” I’ll call you later he still hasn’t. “Oh well”  There in lies the problem when you say you going to do some do it or don’t say you will, if you did something be honest and say you did.  That is something my dad was always trying to tell me. but like some kids it takes adult hood to get it through their thick head. Then they look back and say mom and/or dad was right. Sometimes it takes loosing someone.

In closing please follow the advise of everyone that has told you,  Be honest  “Honesty is the best Policy “

The Love of a spouse

There are many people who have been together for many years whether it is a long term relationship or a marriage. My first marriage lasted three  years, don’t get me wrong it started out great, however it started to crash after about the second year. Going into the third year the I left for a while because we soon had things that we didn’t agree on after awhile, I soon realized   that I needed to go home and try to give it another chance we soon moved that house to a place downtown then money situations started to get in the way, she started to ask her mother for money and when I asked her where she got it she would lie about it, then it came to stealing  money for drugs. I soon left the whole situation for good. After awhile I found a lady that I am still with to this day. It is funny how the whole relationship started. My now wife met my mom first then my mom called me to ask for my assistance in helping her move in with my now wife.
When I got over to the house to help her load up the car, the first thing I said to Pam (wife), was my mom don’t need to live with you she needs to be in a place of her own and I was very boisterous when I said this. I soon found out that she didn’t live very far from me, so I would go down to her house to see my mom, and her of course. There were times I would walk in and tell Pam she looked like (crap) replacing it with the more harsher word), however I was actually telling her she looked Beautiful. trying to hide the fact that I was falling in love with her. I could see she was suffering from pain in the legs by the way she walked, but I didn’t know the extent of her medical problems, which didn’t matter to me. Well unbeknownst to me she was also falling in love with me. Then one night we where sitting on the from porch having a few mixed drinks, and some beers, and because I was feeling the effects of the alcohol  and she said why don’t you stay the night.

I gladly excepted, I was going to sleep on the couch but she said no you can sleep in my bed and that’s when I realized she had feelings for me. Now we know what could happen when this case arises, however, I told her we can’t do this because before this does go that for we need to be clear headed.

Now from previous post you all know that she had two children from a previous marriage, It was very strange because her oldest son was just 6 years my Jr, http://wp.me/p1gcCC- and soon he started to get to know me. Then she also had a daughter  and https://thoughtzfrommyheart.wordpress.com/2011/01/01/a-daughter-grown-up/ one thing I told all of them also their father was, I will never try to replace you, you are welcome here to see your children any time you would like.  Now for a long time it was very touchy, not knowing what to do, what was to come. Her son was always gone, her daughter was gone to her aunts from her fathers side. But my father soon said your taking my piece of machinery, my stepmother said then you can deal with his seizures, Pam gladly said I will. I packed my things that I could in her car and left, went back to her house and had a few more drinks on the front porch.  After awhile she went to lay down I was still listening to cassette tapes so I put a tape in my walkman continued to finish my drink and listen to music. Back then I wouldn’t be caught with out some music playing, now my cassettes are gone but the disc man still runs instead of mp3 players and my oldest son say when are you  going to switch to mp3 disc mans are long gone. I said I probably  won’t, I have to much money invest in CDS to waste the cases are gone so selling them aren’t an option. However as they get scratched I will through them away and not replace them.
Now we just celebrated our 20th anniversary the 13th of this month, when we got married it was on a friday, and many people thought that we wouldn’t last more than six months, I am sure that people in the family were even making bets on it.

Now as I continue with my wife it is a love I can’t deny. We have had are issues and our fights, we have had our spats over money but only because I will take between 7 to 9 dollars for a pack of non- filtered smokes, and sometimes I will get upset because she will want to check the checks to make sure that they are wrote out right and the account numbers are correct,  I still call her if I am out to find out if Ii have enough in my account to get a cup of coffee or smokes if I need them. The biggest problem with most people and finances is people want things they cant have so they use money they don’t have or they take money from their spouse without their knowledge and when the spouse finds out they also find out sooner or later they have taken it for something they shouldn’t have, (drugs, gambling, online porn, you have one person who is so controlling with the money that  if you spend an extra dollar on something you shouldn’t have ie a candy bar for yourself or your child, ect.). My wife and I have enough to live comfortably, any we live with what we have, if I get called to help someone with a car situation and I can do it I will help and I just take what they offer, unless I have set a price for certain jobs. If I feel like just helping people out, I will tell them your problem has been taken care of you can be on your way or I am going home now, and there is no charge.  When I have a doctors appt downtown I will stop and get a coffee and buy someone something and my wife knows about it she don’t say anything.  It is a sad situation because most of the divorces are caused by this, and also due to the fact that or jobs have closed and moved south, alot of them that move will open in the south under a different name so they can hide the fact that they just moved like the Life Savers candy company moved south because it was cheaper for sugar. However if people had a better outlook and focused their lives on Christ, their needs would be taken care of. Honestly I haven’t focused my life totally on Christ, but I can say this with my wife, we have been very comfortable with our financial status. We love each other, we care  about each other and our children are as will no matter how old they are.

Loved, Lost, But not Forgotten

Many people loose at least one person that they cherished so mush that they wish they were still here, could come back, wished they were dead so they could see them again or wished they had gone first so they didn’t have to be left here without the one they had lost. I am reminded of this on numerous occasions not because I have lost someone that close to me yet, but when a family member or friend does die I can see the pain and heartache in those left behind. Today I can still see it in my fathers eyes every now and then when my step mothers name is mentioned, My wife name when her fathers name is mentioned, last week we recently lost a cousin on my fathers side the only people that showed any pain were his children and wife of thirty four years. Now every one shows pain differently, such as myself. I have been through so much pain as I child I don’t cry that much, and if I do it hasn’t been over the death of a family member.Believe me with a big family like mine there have been many people pass over the years, some could call me and have called me cold blooded, but what could I say their is alot.
My life was changed in many ways when I got married to my wife Pam, with an already made family, (which let me say didn’t matter I was used to that)  being raised in a home with four step sisters and one step brother. Now the death of my wife and my children blood, step, inlaws, that’s a different story  I still don’t show alot of emotion, sometimes I hold it in, sometimes it isn’t worth it because I wasn’t close enough to the person or the pain to bad to relive it. However the lose of a mother or Father even though the pain and heartache I went through when I was younger from both of them I would cry.
Then again who know I might even be gone before any of them are.
The voice also say alot when a person is pain at the lose of a close family member, point in case below is a link from an adopted niece Bianca H. Morrow who wrote this song for her grandmother who passed away. Keep your ears tuned to the lyrics, and you’ll be able to read between the lines to feel the pain I am talking about.