Anger Issues:

As I talked to my oldest son today, he has pointed something out to me. Now that I have had a short time to think about it both as he talked to me and after we have talked, I have found that deep down, I do feel some anger towards some people other than those posted in prior post (MY FATHER). I feel bad and upset that it took me time and a word from my son to point these issues out to me, but as I had said he is a SON OF MUCH KNOWLEDGE. I am not sure if I pointed this last quote out in that post but it is true about him, he has been through some of these things, and we have passed knowledge on to each other. He told me that he can see these anger issues through conversations when we talk about certain people from my own family I tend to get upset and raise my voice. He also told me that in some ways he sees my post about my dad that I am trying to make things right and my dad might be trying to play the father roll to make me feel good. I told him it is a possibility but I may never know because, (as I write this sentence) my father may never be truthful to me as he was with the abuse until I was 17 when he finally told my why I received all the abuse, and I admit I do hold anger towards my sister, for her lies that got me that abuse, my step mother for not opening her eyes, to see it was her children who was stealing the money and or just plain lying, and my father for just using me as basically a punching bag instead of verbally trying to get his wife to believe that it wasn’t me. As I write this I fell ashamed that it took this many years and numerous talks with my oldest son to let these feelings out. As I have posted your closest friends are in your family, so start looking, and in the post MY FATHER, points out things that he has been through in his life that I can use in my life, in both aspects I look for, I get advice from both my oldest son and my father, and sometimes neither one of them know it. Sometimes one of them will catch it, as I know my son will when he reads this post. In a way I look towards my son as both a son of much knowledge, and a son of guidance, it may take time for me to follow his words of guidance, but sooner or later I do. I just pray that the day doesn’t come when I should have his guidance before it was to late for me to account for my actions, As I was saying above about myself may never knowing if my dad was just trying to play the father roll, he may be truthful,if that is the case to tell me on his death bed, as we all know, there are alot of things come out of people to others that they would not expect when a loved is going to be passing, but with that being said, somethings will die with them also and people will never know. Some people look for guidance from a counselor, I don’t need to look to far because I have my oldest son to help in that department, although he doesn’t know it but soon will, after reading this he has given me alot of guidance and direction in a way he will never know and I will have a very hard time to explain,But I will always thank him. so I can only hope that these few words can explain how important and how much I look for his direction and guidance. With that being said I must say sometimes he is a little hard on me, (which I must be honest makes me angry at that time) (I hold it in) because as always after having time to settle down, I look back see where he is coming from, and I know that sometimes he gets frustrated about certain things in reguards to the direction or guidance he sends my way but it sometimes takes me time to comprehend or grasp the things he is trying to say, that is one reason why it took me so long to face the realization, that I still held anger towards others from my past. With all this being said about my oldest son I will also like to add a note that there is also going to be an update in the post A SON WITH MUCH KNOWLEDGE:
The end

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2 thoughts on “Anger Issues:

  1. Slik

    Hey there dad, I see you changed your blogs theme really looks nice and it compliments your posts…

    Please don’t feel ashamed of how long it took to realize you’re still harvesting hatred, from a first hand experience those kind of events are painful to relive through dealing with the emotions… Recently God, dealt with my harvested feelings and emotions from what my father put me through and I can honestly say at the moment of those hurtful emotions surfacing I felt like I was losing control and I didn’t like that feeling so I fought to bury those hurtful emotions but God, had other plans and I decided to stop trying to rebury the emotions and let God, start the healing process…

    I can actually truly say I feel 110% better now and it felt as the world was lifted off each shoulder… But to be able to have the strength to allow God, to start the healing process you will need to make sure your heart is dedicated to start a relationship with God, and actually want go through the heartfelt changes…

    Since we are on the topic of anger please read my latest post I speak how my anger & amp; hatred destroyed my chances of 2nd chance with my father, http://wp.me/p1gbE9-2B

    P.s. Thank you for the compliment! šŸ™‚

    Reply
    1. balding2soon Post author

      You are welcome, compliments are sent when and to whom deserves them and you my son deserve everyone I have sent your way. I have this philosophy if a person is not worthy of giving a compliment, then don’t give them one.

      Reply

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