Category Archives: World Views

The Love of a spouse

There are many people who have been together for many years whether it is a long term relationship or a marriage. My first marriage lasted three  years, don’t get me wrong it started out great, however it started to crash after about the second year. Going into the third year the I left for a while because we soon had things that we didn’t agree on after awhile, I soon realized   that I needed to go home and try to give it another chance we soon moved that house to a place downtown then money situations started to get in the way, she started to ask her mother for money and when I asked her where she got it she would lie about it, then it came to stealing  money for drugs. I soon left the whole situation for good. After awhile I found a lady that I am still with to this day. It is funny how the whole relationship started. My now wife met my mom first then my mom called me to ask for my assistance in helping her move in with my now wife.
When I got over to the house to help her load up the car, the first thing I said to Pam (wife), was my mom don’t need to live with you she needs to be in a place of her own and I was very boisterous when I said this. I soon found out that she didn’t live very far from me, so I would go down to her house to see my mom, and her of course. There were times I would walk in and tell Pam she looked like (crap) replacing it with the more harsher word), however I was actually telling her she looked Beautiful. trying to hide the fact that I was falling in love with her. I could see she was suffering from pain in the legs by the way she walked, but I didn’t know the extent of her medical problems, which didn’t matter to me. Well unbeknownst to me she was also falling in love with me. Then one night we where sitting on the from porch having a few mixed drinks, and some beers, and because I was feeling the effects of the alcohol  and she said why don’t you stay the night.

I gladly excepted, I was going to sleep on the couch but she said no you can sleep in my bed and that’s when I realized she had feelings for me. Now we know what could happen when this case arises, however, I told her we can’t do this because before this does go that for we need to be clear headed.

Now from previous post you all know that she had two children from a previous marriage, It was very strange because her oldest son was just 6 years my Jr, http://wp.me/p1gcCC- and soon he started to get to know me. Then she also had a daughter  and https://thoughtzfrommyheart.wordpress.com/2011/01/01/a-daughter-grown-up/ one thing I told all of them also their father was, I will never try to replace you, you are welcome here to see your children any time you would like.  Now for a long time it was very touchy, not knowing what to do, what was to come. Her son was always gone, her daughter was gone to her aunts from her fathers side. But my father soon said your taking my piece of machinery, my stepmother said then you can deal with his seizures, Pam gladly said I will. I packed my things that I could in her car and left, went back to her house and had a few more drinks on the front porch.  After awhile she went to lay down I was still listening to cassette tapes so I put a tape in my walkman continued to finish my drink and listen to music. Back then I wouldn’t be caught with out some music playing, now my cassettes are gone but the disc man still runs instead of mp3 players and my oldest son say when are you  going to switch to mp3 disc mans are long gone. I said I probably  won’t, I have to much money invest in CDS to waste the cases are gone so selling them aren’t an option. However as they get scratched I will through them away and not replace them.
Now we just celebrated our 20th anniversary the 13th of this month, when we got married it was on a friday, and many people thought that we wouldn’t last more than six months, I am sure that people in the family were even making bets on it.

Now as I continue with my wife it is a love I can’t deny. We have had are issues and our fights, we have had our spats over money but only because I will take between 7 to 9 dollars for a pack of non- filtered smokes, and sometimes I will get upset because she will want to check the checks to make sure that they are wrote out right and the account numbers are correct,  I still call her if I am out to find out if Ii have enough in my account to get a cup of coffee or smokes if I need them. The biggest problem with most people and finances is people want things they cant have so they use money they don’t have or they take money from their spouse without their knowledge and when the spouse finds out they also find out sooner or later they have taken it for something they shouldn’t have, (drugs, gambling, online porn, you have one person who is so controlling with the money that  if you spend an extra dollar on something you shouldn’t have ie a candy bar for yourself or your child, ect.). My wife and I have enough to live comfortably, any we live with what we have, if I get called to help someone with a car situation and I can do it I will help and I just take what they offer, unless I have set a price for certain jobs. If I feel like just helping people out, I will tell them your problem has been taken care of you can be on your way or I am going home now, and there is no charge.  When I have a doctors appt downtown I will stop and get a coffee and buy someone something and my wife knows about it she don’t say anything.  It is a sad situation because most of the divorces are caused by this, and also due to the fact that or jobs have closed and moved south, alot of them that move will open in the south under a different name so they can hide the fact that they just moved like the Life Savers candy company moved south because it was cheaper for sugar. However if people had a better outlook and focused their lives on Christ, their needs would be taken care of. Honestly I haven’t focused my life totally on Christ, but I can say this with my wife, we have been very comfortable with our financial status. We love each other, we care  about each other and our children are as will no matter how old they are.

The Joys of Life:

Many of us know there is alot of fun in life that we can make if we just set our minds and find it. Most kids now are so wrapped up in computers video games, dvd, televisions ect.
Think back to the days when those things sounding like something that most people would say OH that will never happen. I don’t know how many readers I have now, but I can say for myself and those readers that are here, their parents and grandparents have shared stories about not even having a tv, their fun was reading books playing outside with friends or finding something to do by themselves. Which I am sure happened and still happens to his day quite often when friends are off with their family other friends, or if you moved to a different home and had to make new friends, yes I went through that. It was extremely exciting when it was family night were the brothers and sisters got together to play a game or just hang out, and few and far between when mom and dad could join us even if we could just sit and talk, which was another story. However the fun for me wasn’t just hanging out with family and friends, but as I mentioned sometimes alone reading, doing a puzzle, or walking the city streets as a child around the age of five I started walking the heart downtown  Grand Rapids, Mi., first it was with my uncles and then soon I was doing it by myself and as I began moving from home to home, do to troubles within the home life,
it was spread out throughout Grand Rapids, and its’ suburb Walker, mid teens I lived in Sparta and was walking around Sparta as well as the outlying areas, and just seeing the beauty of the different areas of the cities and country. Lookout Hill a popular hangout which I shouldn’t have to go into details of how it received it’s name, but it also has a great view  of various directions of  the city, as well as some beautiful seasonal views of fall color changes winter views and sun rise and sets.

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Walking was and is still a great pleasure and time waster for me. Sure I don’t have very many places to walk to anymore, most of my family lives to far north and it would talk at least a day for me to get there and the rest of the family, by the time I reached their home it would be time to head back home, but all the same the walk is there and each walk is different every day you see something that wasn’t there the day before. Such as a factory that was once a mainstay for years closed down a few years back is now part of a Christian Based Counseling Organization as well as a few other things and the offices for the factory for the once mainstay plant still occupy front part of the plant. A house that once sat behind a Meijers store was bought by Meijers, tore out and now the drive for the loading docks sit where the yard once sat, and even though there has been nothing changed as I described in the past phrase, don’t think there isn’t something there.

It could be something as minute as an old dilapidated home that had been torn down a new home built, or a old business had reopened. The sites can be enormous, however they don’t have to big in size, just in quality. The smallest change could be the most amazing change you could ever see.  Look at the sky during the day and watch the clouds collide to form different shapes or thin out, as well as the big thick one. Look into the night sky at the stars, catch a glimpse of Orion, the Big and Small Dippers and if you’re lucky maybe even a shooting star. So Please I am asking the next time you take a trip and for those of you who still have children at home, take a trip the way you used to, without the mp3, tvs’ dvds’ psps’ and cell phones, off course parents take your cell for emergencies ONLY.

Have fun with your children,, see what they are doing, play a game of quiz, spelling bees’ math, see if your younger children can answer questions that you feel they should be able to answer from school, teach them things that you were taught, and if the get a little lippy, respond by saying ok (mr.) (miss) smarty whatever the case may be, if you know than you tell me.

If they say I don’t want to talk or I am bored say ok then look out the window, watch the clouds transform, ect.
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One game we used to play on long trips was we would look for out of state license plates, however now there is also the personalized plates also so look for those as well. One rule and only one is there must be atleast two people see the plate for it to count.  It doesn’t even have to be long trips either. Give it a try, Guaranteed they’ll have a ball. Have each child take turns, switch writing down the state,   DON’T  write down the plate number. I know it could be a problem and you might be questioning how am I supposed to know if I haven’t already seen that plate and documented it if I don’t right down the plate number.  I am sorry to say but it is against the law to document plate numbers unless it is for the purpose of reporting a crime, and it is also territory that most wouldn’t want to step into.
Low and behold as I was in the backyard talking to my son I was looking at the clouds and seen some beautiful forms I thought these would be some great shots for the post I had just finished, so I asked my son if he had quick access to his camera and he said no so I had to come upstairs to get mine and took the shots posted above. HINT HINT take a few minutes and just scroll the skies and see what you find!

Many People or One

It has always been said that many people can do many things that’s true, but one person can also do many things. It may take longer to accomplish than with many people but it can be done The difference is as you finish on task you can go onto a more menial task and accomplish one or two of the those, relax for awhile even a day then continue. Start the next day with a couple of small tasks and move to a more time consuming task.

Here I am writing this post and as I do I think of the many things I could do, things that would take time by myself, things that I need to do by myself because it is something I must do myself and then there is the fact that I just wont ask because they are so menial there is no need for help. Sometimes I just don’t ask for help because I can move faster when I am by myself and I don’t have to worry about having someone in the way. But I have been getting to lax in my duties and need to get back into my roll as a husband, father, and homeowner. I do my own painting when needed because if a mess is made it gets picked up right then and I can’t blame anyone for the job isn’t done right. I do most of the repairs on my vehicles if i can, and yes I even do the house cleaning, laundry, dishes ect.

I also do the the tasks of a man such as repairs that need to be done within the home, vehicle and alike within my capabilities which I love and live to do. There is nothing more that I look forward than repairs. Yes sometimes I get overwhelmed, with all that needs to be done especially when to many things compile at once like a wall needs to be painted, a drain backs up due to tree roots growing through the sewer pipes out at the road so then I have to get the painting all the while try to keep what I can with the sewer until I can get a plumber out to take care of the drain, and that could be a problem in itself when itself when it happens on the weekend which it used to.

There is always one thing that stands beside me and everyone else has, if alot of people  would look for. Most would know where this is going and sure I am no stranger to this but yes I haven’t been following this path however my goal is to strive and working on this path is getting there.

Triads is a group that has been formed and  in session for years at church that we attend and my son author  of http://dailyaspects.wordpress.com/ has invited me to attend as well as getting a word in every so often if not every day to read my Bible daily, a gift from him and his wife  to help me to reach this goal.   I am not saying that I can’t rely on God, I know He is there and will help me when I struggle, but I also know that He will let me struggle awhile to see if I can figure it out on my own. But as every one who knows God will not give you more than you can handle.

If one person can’t do it because it is a project made for two or more than you need to find more, as many as you need however you still will need some help from the One and Only that is above all else. No one can see Him, but he is there, and even though you think you are doing it all yourself, your not.

Lets go back and look at it from the sidelines
https://thoughtzfrommyheart.wordpress.com/?s=Time+to+play+ball

If it weren’t for God

1. You wouldn’t be here to do the job yourself if possibly
2. You wouldn’t have the friends to help you couldn’t
3. You wouldn’t have the materials or tools needed

Break it all down God design us all without Him we are nothing, With Him we are everything.
So do all thing in the Name and for The Glory of God!

The Bald Eagle:

Bald Eagle

The most natural form of freedom, a graceful bird although it is almost extinct, making a comeback many
people still see it today in various places, near waterways in the highest of tree tops. As the years continue to rush past the bald eagle continues to soar through the air still visible. A bird of prey only eating what it needs to survive or feed it’s baby. I wish I could see more of these in our skies than those of the military kind which kill more than it needs, it is sad that it isn’t only the insurgents and our military but also the innocent as well (weak).
Which brings me back to the Bald eagle true fact the Bald eagle lays two eggs but only one will survive, because the biggest (bully) will push the weakest out of the nest.
Bring back the birds of PEACE

military jets

Unlike the many different forms of military fighters that pass overhead not very often do people see them unless you live near a base on a base or are in a combat zone. However unlike the Bald Eagle which stands for peace, these military fighters fight to keep that peace that we have had and earned for many  years.
Many times, due to the fact I live near The Gerald R Ford International Airport, I have seen military aircraft fly in and out of the airport mostly during the holidays, although during the recent death of Betty Ford. Also A few years ago the President  Bush came in and we had seen Air Force One chopper and a couple of others to camouflage or take turns switching places with the Presidents so no one knew which one was carrying the President , soon after the choppers pasts by I noticed three fighter Jets.

Let these birds rise high and continue to bring us the peace they have fought so hard and some have died for.

What is it that you Wonder Part 2

Continued from Part 1what-is-it-that-you-wonder-part-1. As I left off I finally had proof that I needed. Not only was my rent money gone but, when I returned back to get the things I had left there, I had brought one of my sisters,her daughter and our youngest sister, to help with the move so we could get it done faster. As I neared the apartment door, I could smell the thick stench of cocaine coming from the apartment, knowing at the time when I left she didn’t have a job loosing hers, from the restaurant downtown before I left, so either she still had money from the rent that she took from me, was getting it from her mother or she had found a drug connection, and I don’t even want to say as to how she was going to pay it back, because I certainly wasn’t going to help.

But the only good thing I think that might have come out of it would have been the child she had from another man, which I was willing to take on as my own, she had told me and her mother that the father had been killed in California by a street gang, but as the day came closer it came out to me, that the child belonged to a black truck driver that she was with trying to get back home. Little did it matter to me, the thing that hurt the most was that she had lied in the first place and to keep her lie hidden from her mother she gave the child up for adoption. When the child was born we found out that it was a girl and had I been able to keep her, even if she didn’t want anything to do with her, she would have been the same age as my step daughter 

It would have been great to have another daughter however, along with that there would have been to other situations that would have to take place, Getting full custody which would take a major amount of money, which for me would be a problem, or allowing her visitation until I could prove she was unfit. I am sure most of you readers know the ins and outs of dealing with children and divorces, it is ten times more difficult when it comes to dealing with a child that does not belong to you. Now I continued to work at the restaurant and she always showed up, waiting for me to get of work, as I did I went down the back corridor and out the back door, because she no longer there she couldn’t go in the back halls. But she was persistent in her persiut, to get ahold of me.

One day while I was helping a friend set up his display of sewing machines at the local Sales depots where everything from Guns and knives, to boats and RVs, Cars and Trucks ect. I ran into my ex wife and her mother, she was looking around and her mother was working one of the concession booths. Then about three years ago an old friend of mine who knew both of us was driving for a pizza company that we had ordered pizza from and when he delivered the pizza he had told me that my ex had put a ten thousand dollar hit on my head.He had also told me that she was still hooked on Cocaine and Crystal Meth, I told him I left because she started doing cocaine and even stole the rent money for it but I didn’t know she was on Crystal Meth something she must have started after I left, I also told him to tell, her where I had lived, hadn’t heard nothing more about it. The last time I had seen her, I was in the basement and my wife of 19 years, started yelling for me when I got upstairs she said is that your first wife, I said yes. Now this was the first time my wife or son https://thoughtzfrommyheart.wordpress.com/2011/01/10/a-10-year-old/
had even seen my first wife. Needless to say, I have been with my second wife for almost 19 years, and after numerous churches I have started to really feel a pull on my heart and the pain is so heavy that it is weighing on me to write.

Part 3

Change of Heart, Mind and Soul:

The heart can be broken by lifes’ many trials. Abuse, lies, mistrust, dead end roads. All leading to one thing. Many times I have tried to walk the road of Faith following Gods’ guidance, and as many times as I have tried to follow I have failed twenty times over if not more. I have always chalked it up as the trials tribulations, and struggles of life. Which is easier to do then take on the responsibility and say what did I do wrong to cause this problem. Maybe I didn’t have a part in it, but there was a reason for this to come my way. It was predestined for me to have a son even though I didn’t want a child, due to the fact of Epilepsy ran on both sides of my family, God had other plans. Then came to pass that my wife was carrying twins, another trait of the Wright family, but again, God had other plans. We still have one child, at one when we found out that one of the fetuses had not made it, again I questioned God and my trust was broken, I had lost my way. Even though I had told my wife when they told her there was no child there I told her, that the tech that did the ultrasound messed up and missed it. I told her that the baby is there and to have Faith in God even though I had already began to question him and my faith had already deteriorated to the point of nil. The tech came back from talking to our family doctor, and she had told us the doctor said there was a baby in there and she had to do another test, so “LET THE TEST BEGAN” again I waited impatiently and as she continued to probe, I began to hear the heartbeat of an unborn child and my eyes began to tear up as I looked at my wife and said there he is.
As I was typing the last phrase one song came to mind, and again as I listened to it, again my eyes began to tear as I thought about that day when I was in the hospital just standing there one minute questioning God, yet telling my wife to have Faith that God will see all things through and the baby will be there, just fine.

At this point I began to ask myself why would God allow this child to be alive after I questioned him, and let my faith fall so far.  Many years of people lying, abusing, abandoning, denying, mistrusting ect, . I despised it, hated it and didn’t want nothing to do with them. Now I was doing the same thing to God that I despised. Why would he save my child. I stop and think about that every now and then. I mean it isn’t that hard to figure out why, Our God is an Awesome God 

Now as time goes by I began to wonder why I continuously wonder what happened to make things so haphazzard in my life, what I had done to let things get so bad that I let myself get so lost in life that it is so disastrous,I have lost touch with reality sometimes.

I sometimes want to cry but life has been so cruel and hard that my when I hear a sad song see a touching movie, go to a funeral, the most that happens my eyes will water as if I could easily pass it off as a yawn or something is in my eye.
There is a song that I would always tear to 

But the one I really love to listen to is I used to listen to this song alot when I first got married to Pam back in 1994.  At this time we had gone to church every Sunday. At first I thought she was very pushy about going to church and because of my background, I didn’t want nothing to do with the thought of it, but none the less I went putting my feelings aside because of the way I felt for her. I was also a person on my own and when we first got together we would sit on the front porch in the morning every day including Sundays and have drinks including my specialty Manhattans on the rocks. Something told me that all would stop, and I told her then 14 year son that I thought his mother was going to far with this church thing. Needless to say that didn’t last very long and back to the weeks of having drinks everyday, and I thought that was greater than going to church any day. This is also coming from a person who went to church as a child who went to church on Sundays just to get away from getting a beating on Sunday morning before the day can even start. So in retrospect of all this, I would have to say, over the many years of constant
heartaches and abuse and then the heartaches and abuse I have caused to others, the worst of all heartaches and abuse I caused was that I caused to the Lord and even knowing that he sent his Son to die on the Cross to die for our sins, He still loved me enough to give me a son, Loved me enough to save me through all these years,and to help me go through all the trials and tribulations with the love and support of a great Father. For many people it is hard to fathom that one Man can do so many things and be in so many places at one time. But through him all things are possible.  Then comes the time for judgement when we all have to face him to answer for our sins.

When that day comes are you going to be able to answer to those sins and say to God that you are sorry for those sins, can you actually give the Greatest Creator of All an honest and humble answer or will you be awestruck as this song indicates 

At this point in life I could honestly say Lord, You, have sent you Son to die for our sins and washed them away, and that nothing I have done in my time on earth allows me a place in heaven. But when I am face to face, I know I would be the later, not knowing what to say, myself I would be tongue tied and twisted. What about you?

Worries:

The worries of today that many people talk about are the Tribulation. Some say it is going to happen before Christ returns, Some say it is going to happen after Christ has come and gone. We all know that the Mark of the beast is going to happen in order to buy food, gas, the concentration camps, if you don’t receive the mark, and death if you don’t confess satan, as you god. Many people let this worry them, but if you are right with God you have nothing to worry about. I have been told numerous times, from many people I don’t live or walk right with God. But there is only one person that can Judge me, and on that day as I face that Person I will find out whether or not I’ll be entering the Gates above or being casts into the Pits. No I don’t go to church, but I have been told by numerous pastors and others that have been going to church for along time who have grown up from childhood going to church that going to church isn’t a necessity, just as the Bible states even though a person goes and spreads Gods words and teaches others about Christs that doesn’t give them entrance into the Gates of Heaven. I don’t look at myself as spreading Gods Word, I am stating facts to contradict that the many worries that is going around about the tribulation. The Tribulation is certainly going to happen before the Rapture. Many people are under the impression that Christ will come back and take his chosen before the Tribulation, that is because many false teachers have rewritten the scripture and if you really read the top of this post you will see I said that during the Tribulation, people will be killed if they don’t confess satan as their god. When the Bible says that God will come back to get His Chosen, the Bible is talking about those who have already passed on. As I write this it reminds me of a few people who are supposed to be ” church goers” and the reason I specify it that way is because they are from different denominations and because again they will be judge when they stand in front of Christ, for their sins. Sins not only against myself but also against others.
I will not confess satan as my God and I will not take the mark of the beast. Death is upon me when that day COMES.