Tag Archives: brain

A New Life

July 4th Kentwood , Mi.In the old life a sad state of mind, one a of a different kind. Worried about doctors and misfiring electrical, not to dismis medical. Still wondering when it will misfire, or if a job will hire.
But after I missed the last test, my brain was at rest. Ending up in Mi. City Indiana, Wishing it could’ve been Little Havana. Without a care in the world, through Southern Mi, we whirled. Left to right, North to South, talking or a zipped mouth. Watching for City Kitties, Or County Mounties. Wondering was there was a reason, would I have been kept in a prison. Being in a vegative state for life, never again able to hold my wife. Not being able to see my family, here at home would be a catastrophe.
I love it here were I reside, On Grand Rapids South side. With my families love so strong, being together for so long. So as this year ends a new year begins. I can only look ahead to what is in store, sharing my love for them much more. As night comes to a close and we say goodnight, they disappear out of sight.
The joy of their faces the next morning, a sight too adoring, My granddaughter with her head bouncing up and down, comes from her room rubbing those big eyes of baby brown. Her mother close behind with a ball of fur hot on her heels, my daughter whishing she had wheels.
Barking and biting at her pant legs all the way, This is the start of a bright and new  day.

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Who is in contr…

Who is in control, when nothing is going your way, which is my problem right know. I can’t think straight, even as I write this post it is a problem for me to find words. Therefore I know who has control of my life, it is me, it is a struggle for me because I know that deep down I am harboring animosity towards someone or many people. I know I am holding hurt feelings about  that fact that after 26 almost 27 years of taking many different medications numerous neurologists, 1brain surgery which removed 2 1/2 inches of dead brain, and on and off thinking I have learned to live with the fact that I will have epilepsy the rest of my life, Every time I have one, I think why did I even have the surgery in the first place, the only thing the surgery did was get rid of two out of the three different kinds but left me with the worst of them all tonic-clonic seizures AKA grand mal . What a way to bring in the new year but with a grand mal,
Now because of the surgery and still taken medications I have to wait 1 year before I can get my drivers license or go to work. I try to hide the fact that I can’t work by saying every time I hear that another company is going out of business here is Grand Rapids or surrounding cities, by saying what new and how many more will be going out soon, or the amount of jobs that just come in doesn’t compare to the one that just closed, but my family wasn’t, as the old saying goes ” BORN YESTERDAY” know that I really want to go back to work even with a bad back. Boredom is getting the best of me. I was always one to walk long distances, walk to the local drug store or grocery two three times a week 2 miles round trip, Until 1day I  had an attack while walking to the grocery store myself. I would always tell my wife when I walked to these places don’t worry I will be fine, because she would constantly worry that I would go down while I was out. I must and will get back to that way, Giving my worries and burdens to the Lords is what I must DO.