Tag Archives: family

Never Say Good Bye

 

12-30-2014

Due to Privacy I have chosen to leave some names out:

Saying Good-bye to late:

In my recent post, I referrenced about Never Say Good Bye, Always See You Later, well that didn’t happen this time. Recently our neighborhood had lost a mainstay. My time with 
Here is how I meet  the first Lady I know that lived to 100 years,
I was at her neighbors’ house one day painting his garage doors, that day I had spent a few hours there and had began to tell me about his neighbor, that she had just had  her 100th birthday, within that last couple of weeks. How he and his wife keep watch an eye on her, having been alone since her husbands passing, in the early 2000’s. He proceded to explain how they had never had children, all she had left was her nephew who goes shopping for her and neice takes her for her appointments.
I recieved a call from him the next day stating 
that his neighbor had seen me out painting his garage and would like to hire me to do some painting for her giving me her phone number, so I called her and explained who I was and almost immediatly, she continues to tell me what she wants done. So I  tell her that I am on my way up to find out what exactly needs to be done. She says “Do you want me to open the garage door, I will be waiting at the door, I am thinking to myself she is fiesty to site there that time of the day door unlocked, and alone.”
My reply was not right now, I will call you when I get closer, As I got close enough to where I could see the front door and the garage at the same time, worried about safety.  As I got closer to the garage where I could see better, I seen this very short lady sitting on a walker. Walking into the garage I introduced myself to her and she bluntly says with a stare that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, that didn’t talk long, trying to explain that I only lived about a half mile from her she says (this is what I want done).
How many of you (are/were about to hire to do some work for you wouldn’t) want to know more about that person, before you hired him/her. 

 That wasn’t the case with myself, and probably many others.  (Thanks to her neighbor don’t know what you told her but it must have been something nice enough for this Lady to trust me as much as she did, (just keep it to yourself we don’t want it getting out.)

Now as I had ended work for that day we sat in the living room drinking cold coffee and water, tring to figure out what was the next day to finish, she was say well I can’t due Saturday because I have a doctors appointment, and I thought to myself, wait her appointments are on Saturday, I have never heard of that. So I said I could return the following Monday in the afternoon (not really wanting to wait that long) “she replied “thats fine I stay up until around 12 -1 am and gets back up at 5 am to get my house work done” now I am thinking where is she getting all this spunk from, I very seldom catch her taking a nap during the day. When I returned on Monday I called  saying “Hello Sweetie”  and like before she opened the garage door, Now this happened from then on, using one or other door always being greeted  with a smile. We sat for a little while and talked and she began to tell me a little more, about how she had seen me painting her neighbors garage and that she had two other people who had said they would do it but never returned to do the job.
So I told her that I would do the painting she wanted done, she said she would buy the supplies, asking how much I would charge. I told her we would discuss that after the job was done. It took a few days not only was the first area needed a good painting but also I found she had some great history that I could learn from. On this day  That’s when she told me that she had been homebound since her husband  had passed away in 2003, only being able to go out for her appointments. She proceded to tell me that the agency that helps those of her age with handicap ramps would have to pay between $500.00 and $1000.00  what they didn’t tell her was, that was to attach it to the outside of her home not in her garage and that she told them she could afford, it being on a strict income. When she told me that they wouldn’t stop calling and told her that she had to go through them, I told her to tell them if they didn’t her son was going to get on the phone if  I was there, Don’t know if she ever had to.  Now making two handicap ramps within the last 2 years, I looked at her and said I could make a ramp for you, as I said this I told her if it was  fixed to the outside we have to get a builders permit which would cost more and she would have to go by city code which meant a different design or it would have to be put in storage when not in use, after looking out the garage door I said thewe could put one right here and not worry about all the red tape.  The next day, I got started on that project.  I said my son would like to know if she knew anything about the slave days just incase he had history project on this subject, could he ask her about her experience with it. She told me that she would have a paper for me to give him.  Again taking my time, but wanting to make sure that she was safe, and always ending the night with another history lesson, also getting the paper she had wrote for my son.

The day after I went back up to her’ house to finish up and I asked her if she wanted to test it out so after getting her out side she had a great time in the sun and a cool breeze she asked to be left in that spot, have to go somewhere real quick, she says you can leave me here, and I  say that’s not going to happen your niece and nephew will kill me, So happy but sad because she was out but had to go back in to soon. There was another day I had found a map of the of the United States, asking her she told me that she made it as she traveled across the U.S. after she
Soon I had all the work was until summer  of 2015 and visits continued but not as much it was mostly phone calls were more frequent, calling to see how she was.
I had visited her a few other times at home my last being on Thanksgiving Day when I brought her some dinner, turkey the works four or five different desserts bringing a total of about five different storage bowls of different sizes with a reply (OH Thank You) this will last me a week.  until I found out through others that she was in the rehabilitation home due to a  recent fall and chipped a bone in leg. After finding this out I called her neighbor to inform him. So then I visited her at the home three times the most memorable time was on Christmas day, Again I had packaged up a little Christmas Dinner. Only finding out that she was going out with her family for Christmas, Now this made me happy because she was able to get out for Christmas. So the food I brought over was put in fridge for her, (not enough to last a week, the nurses wouldn’t like that).
I stayed there visiting until her neice showed up and I had left in a  hurry not to waste time, so they could get her coat on, to began there Christmas Holiday, Forgetting to say “See you Later”  That was the last day I had a chance to visit with her.

(So Please remember to say “See You Later” because it could be the last time you see them.)

 

 

 

chris
(So Please in closing forgive all who have done you wrong, cherish what you have, love everyone, and live life to the fullest) !
W
hich is something Mollie did and passed a legacy on for all who knew her.

Advertisements

A New Life

July 4th Kentwood , Mi.In the old life a sad state of mind, one a of a different kind. Worried about doctors and misfiring electrical, not to dismis medical. Still wondering when it will misfire, or if a job will hire.
But after I missed the last test, my brain was at rest. Ending up in Mi. City Indiana, Wishing it could’ve been Little Havana. Without a care in the world, through Southern Mi, we whirled. Left to right, North to South, talking or a zipped mouth. Watching for City Kitties, Or County Mounties. Wondering was there was a reason, would I have been kept in a prison. Being in a vegative state for life, never again able to hold my wife. Not being able to see my family, here at home would be a catastrophe.
I love it here were I reside, On Grand Rapids South side. With my families love so strong, being together for so long. So as this year ends a new year begins. I can only look ahead to what is in store, sharing my love for them much more. As night comes to a close and we say goodnight, they disappear out of sight.
The joy of their faces the next morning, a sight too adoring, My granddaughter with her head bouncing up and down, comes from her room rubbing those big eyes of baby brown. Her mother close behind with a ball of fur hot on her heels, my daughter whishing she had wheels.
Barking and biting at her pant legs all the way, This is the start of a bright and new  day.

Warning:

This post is going to be a strange one !
Recently we had a tornado hit a few miles south of us. Wood TV 8 has detailed stories and videos from land and air of the destruction. As I was in the basement doing some laundry I heard my wife yelling then my son run down stairs with my granddaughter, some time later I came upstairs to hear the stories of how the blind in the dining room by my wife had gone straight up as if someone was raising it, the empty pop cans in my son- in- laws  room had begone to swirl around the room in circles. What had happened was we had been caught in the outer winds of this tornado. We had no clue what had happened until later early morning when it was delcared an EF -1  that had just formed out of no where without warning the National Weather Service didn’t even see it on radar.  It had taken down a tree across the street pulling up a good chunck of the sidewalk with it and blocking the first lane northbound,The next day I went out and found some branches on the ground, the drainspout was knocked of the S.W. corner of the house and one of the shingles was found on the ground, a mile down the road a buildings roof caved in, trees where down all over the place, one house across the street to the North ended up with a tree in his frontroom. I had relief mostly that no one was hurt but it hit that all the families that lost their homes.

Enough of the errie stuff over the next couple of days while I was out doing other things I thought to myself Thank God we could have gotten worse.  The next morning I received a call from my dad asking if we were ok because he had seen on the news that the tornado had hit near us so I had told him what little damage we received, thinking the whole time why was he worried or even called because I hadn’t even heard from him in probably a couple of weeks because of a little situation we had between us, but that only goes to say that through the worst of times family is still there to check on you when you don’t realize or expect it. I didn’t even know that he had seen the news, but I think he watched the news after he got a glimpse of my sisters facebook page after it was posted to my wifes wall. So while others had to rebuild  fix wholes in their roofs, clean up debri, and all the other things that need to be taken care of when a tornado rips through the area, all I had to worry about was a few branches, a shingle and hanging upside down from the roof to fix the drainspout. As if that wasn’t scary enough. I would have to say it wasn’t the first time I have had to make this (dasterdly blood rushing to the brian chore,) but it was something that had to be done. While I was up on the roof after the job was done and I was no longer hanging upside, I still had a feeling of I had God to thank for the little damage that we did receive and that I had to be Greatful that no one was injured or killed. I still have never been in the path of a tornado, and honestly I don’t want to be.

There was recently a post on Face Book that I would like to share.
Cherish

Which also brings me to  another saying that I learned along time ago from a pastor/ friend of mine. Don’t ever say good bye, Always see you later, because you never know if that will be the last time you see them in this life, but you will see them again as long as you are living for God.
Now you say it is hard for you to forget something that someone has done to you. Well I say sure it is, No one said it was going to be, I have a hard time forgetting what my dad did to me and all though I have not officially told him I forgive you, I don’t hold a grudge towards him. I chose to go on with my life and although it still hits me know and then, it is like my epilepsy I think about it for a little while and then it is on with my life. Just like most of you some that has happened in your life, you tend to think about it and then it is gone.  Just as that tornado it came in without warning, your loved one or even you could be taken without warning. Another case in point I was in church about a month and a half ago, and about fifteen minutes into the service I noticed a man  leaving the sancturary pushing an older lady out that was in a wheel chair, as they passed me, her left arm went limp and fell off the arm of the wheel chair. I knew then that the family was going to be mourning this lose. It was a big reminder for all who was there and seen the medics after service.

(So Please in closing forgive all who have done you wrong, cherish what you have, love everyone, and live life to the fullest) !

 

Marriage:

Many times it is easy to have or to atleast say that you have a great marriage, no problems, ect. Most times it isn’t the case, Problems arise from the lie ( there are no problems ). People need to confess their faults. Be truthful, with their spouses and family and friends. The trust of these people all depend on the honesty from all.

Ex. Recently I had a secret I was hiding from my wife ( no it wasn’t infidelity )  this was going on for about three months. But the point is when I finally told her it was a big surprise to her and a blow to her, however telling her was a big weight off me. Sure she mixed feelings, she didn’t like the situation, but she was thankful for the honesty. I know she thinks about it.
Being honest will help in many ways, and if every one stops to think about the first part of this line you can come up with the many ways themselves.

With marriage that is sometimes the hardest thing to do, first your relationship starts as a friendship and if honesty isn’t in the relationship one hundred percent before the wedding and the other finds out, is there going to be a wedding second if there is a wedding is there going to be a divorce because the dishonesty, if a person is  because the first thing people intend to look at the divorce card or worse (especially in these days). However with mine, I have failed my wife so many times so could have very easily found a legit reason to leave. and we have been married for 20 years as of  5-13, but we have been able to keep are marriage together,

This principal also goes for friends, a person is only going to call you friend as long as you are honest with them.  Yes a move in residence may happen on either side but if a friendship does not end on a good note, there wont be the ability to communicate after the move is done won’t be there.
This friendship may resurface later down the road but there will be alot of trust rebuilding and sometimes the slightest mistake could end it all over again, usually never to resurface.
Another situation which also included my wife at our 20th anniversary was a relationship breaker between my father and I, when I didn’t receive an invite,  he found out when I posted pictures I received a call from him the last word he said to me was Goodbye and hung up.
Fathers Day morning I posted Happy Fathers Day to all fathers including my father who is upset with me at the present time. The next morning I received a call from him with a Happy Fathers’ Day in turn I said Happy Fathers Day to him, he proceeded to tell me it was a joke, later he says well how would you feel if your son didn’t invite you. My response to that was “Apparently there was a reason for it” his response was ” I’ll call you later he still hasn’t. “Oh well”  There in lies the problem when you say you going to do some do it or don’t say you will, if you did something be honest and say you did.  That is something my dad was always trying to tell me. but like some kids it takes adult hood to get it through their thick head. Then they look back and say mom and/or dad was right. Sometimes it takes loosing someone.

In closing please follow the advise of everyone that has told you,  Be honest  “Honesty is the best Policy “

Loved, Lost, But not Forgotten

Many people loose at least one person that they cherished so mush that they wish they were still here, could come back, wished they were dead so they could see them again or wished they had gone first so they didn’t have to be left here without the one they had lost. I am reminded of this on numerous occasions not because I have lost someone that close to me yet, but when a family member or friend does die I can see the pain and heartache in those left behind. Today I can still see it in my fathers eyes every now and then when my step mothers name is mentioned, My wife name when her fathers name is mentioned, last week we recently lost a cousin on my fathers side the only people that showed any pain were his children and wife of thirty four years. Now every one shows pain differently, such as myself. I have been through so much pain as I child I don’t cry that much, and if I do it hasn’t been over the death of a family member.Believe me with a big family like mine there have been many people pass over the years, some could call me and have called me cold blooded, but what could I say their is alot.
My life was changed in many ways when I got married to my wife Pam, with an already made family, (which let me say didn’t matter I was used to that)  being raised in a home with four step sisters and one step brother. Now the death of my wife and my children blood, step, inlaws, that’s a different story  I still don’t show alot of emotion, sometimes I hold it in, sometimes it isn’t worth it because I wasn’t close enough to the person or the pain to bad to relive it. However the lose of a mother or Father even though the pain and heartache I went through when I was younger from both of them I would cry.
Then again who know I might even be gone before any of them are.
The voice also say alot when a person is pain at the lose of a close family member, point in case below is a link from an adopted niece Bianca H. Morrow who wrote this song for her grandmother who passed away. Keep your ears tuned to the lyrics, and you’ll be able to read between the lines to feel the pain I am talking about.

The Joys of Life:

Many of us know there is alot of fun in life that we can make if we just set our minds and find it. Most kids now are so wrapped up in computers video games, dvd, televisions ect.
Think back to the days when those things sounding like something that most people would say OH that will never happen. I don’t know how many readers I have now, but I can say for myself and those readers that are here, their parents and grandparents have shared stories about not even having a tv, their fun was reading books playing outside with friends or finding something to do by themselves. Which I am sure happened and still happens to his day quite often when friends are off with their family other friends, or if you moved to a different home and had to make new friends, yes I went through that. It was extremely exciting when it was family night were the brothers and sisters got together to play a game or just hang out, and few and far between when mom and dad could join us even if we could just sit and talk, which was another story. However the fun for me wasn’t just hanging out with family and friends, but as I mentioned sometimes alone reading, doing a puzzle, or walking the city streets as a child around the age of five I started walking the heart downtown  Grand Rapids, Mi., first it was with my uncles and then soon I was doing it by myself and as I began moving from home to home, do to troubles within the home life,
it was spread out throughout Grand Rapids, and its’ suburb Walker, mid teens I lived in Sparta and was walking around Sparta as well as the outlying areas, and just seeing the beauty of the different areas of the cities and country. Lookout Hill a popular hangout which I shouldn’t have to go into details of how it received it’s name, but it also has a great view  of various directions of  the city, as well as some beautiful seasonal views of fall color changes winter views and sun rise and sets.

images (3)

Walking was and is still a great pleasure and time waster for me. Sure I don’t have very many places to walk to anymore, most of my family lives to far north and it would talk at least a day for me to get there and the rest of the family, by the time I reached their home it would be time to head back home, but all the same the walk is there and each walk is different every day you see something that wasn’t there the day before. Such as a factory that was once a mainstay for years closed down a few years back is now part of a Christian Based Counseling Organization as well as a few other things and the offices for the factory for the once mainstay plant still occupy front part of the plant. A house that once sat behind a Meijers store was bought by Meijers, tore out and now the drive for the loading docks sit where the yard once sat, and even though there has been nothing changed as I described in the past phrase, don’t think there isn’t something there.

It could be something as minute as an old dilapidated home that had been torn down a new home built, or a old business had reopened. The sites can be enormous, however they don’t have to big in size, just in quality. The smallest change could be the most amazing change you could ever see.  Look at the sky during the day and watch the clouds collide to form different shapes or thin out, as well as the big thick one. Look into the night sky at the stars, catch a glimpse of Orion, the Big and Small Dippers and if you’re lucky maybe even a shooting star. So Please I am asking the next time you take a trip and for those of you who still have children at home, take a trip the way you used to, without the mp3, tvs’ dvds’ psps’ and cell phones, off course parents take your cell for emergencies ONLY.

Have fun with your children,, see what they are doing, play a game of quiz, spelling bees’ math, see if your younger children can answer questions that you feel they should be able to answer from school, teach them things that you were taught, and if the get a little lippy, respond by saying ok (mr.) (miss) smarty whatever the case may be, if you know than you tell me.

If they say I don’t want to talk or I am bored say ok then look out the window, watch the clouds transform, ect.
IMAG0643

IMAG0647
IMAG0644

One game we used to play on long trips was we would look for out of state license plates, however now there is also the personalized plates also so look for those as well. One rule and only one is there must be atleast two people see the plate for it to count.  It doesn’t even have to be long trips either. Give it a try, Guaranteed they’ll have a ball. Have each child take turns, switch writing down the state,   DON’T  write down the plate number. I know it could be a problem and you might be questioning how am I supposed to know if I haven’t already seen that plate and documented it if I don’t right down the plate number.  I am sorry to say but it is against the law to document plate numbers unless it is for the purpose of reporting a crime, and it is also territory that most wouldn’t want to step into.
Low and behold as I was in the backyard talking to my son I was looking at the clouds and seen some beautiful forms I thought these would be some great shots for the post I had just finished, so I asked my son if he had quick access to his camera and he said no so I had to come upstairs to get mine and took the shots posted above. HINT HINT take a few minutes and just scroll the skies and see what you find!

Open Ears:

I may have had some rough times as a child, but it has turned out for the best in the long run. I have been blessed with a great wife who loves me unconditionally . Three children who have been very good to me through all my faults. I have a better relation ship with my dad, even though I don’t talk to him much and usually when the conversation starts it starts when I call him about his bank information, sometimes we can talk for fifteen minutes or more depending on whats going on.

Sure some people in my family say I shouldn’t do his banking for him, and some are mad, because I have been allowed to see what he has in his account, but that is all I can do, at the present time due to where he lives he has trouble getting internet reception and is not very computer savey,  there are a couple of people up there who are but I will not go into detail as to why he wont allow that to go into their hands.  I can’t withdraw money or write checks. Sure I feel that this shouldn’t be the only reason to call my dad and start a conversation, or ask him next time he comes into town for a doctors appointment to stop by for coffee. He has always had this saying the phone works two ways, but for a long time it has only worked one way even before I was doing his banking. Through him a couple of things I have also found many family members through Facebook that I haven’t met, but called and talked to for more than an hour.
I mentioned in the last post the trips in the semis across the Rocky Mountains .

The long talks are another thing I have told my older children Slik and Angela don’t hesitate to wake me up in the middle of the night if you ever need to talk which both of them have done. I haven’t told my youngest son that yet because at the present time he uses every excuse in the book to stay up as long as he can on school nights as he can as it is, or during the day when he is supposed to be doing his home work, he will try to throw in a conversation in there and say he needs to talk as a to procrastinate his homework and what he talks about is something that could have waited until homework was done. But the time is coming soon “not to say he hasn’t” when he was younger after a night mare as all youngsters do to their parents. School is getting out soon and because he is reaching the age where girls are coming into the picture.This  special phrase will have to be extended to him also.  I can just remember times when Angela would wake me up in the middle just to play a couple of games of cards because she couldn’t get to bed after her father passed away.

When she had her first child and night after night it when it became feeding time and I would sneak into their bedroom and get her to feed her so Angie could get some much needed sleep, it was nice to help some one out, in that way because when Jr was born, I wasn’t home much working from 8 to 17 hrs on any given day not more than three  day a week but then the usual 8 hr shifts the rest of the week. Slik on the other hand would wake me up to talk about something that was said or happened earlier in the day. I have always been available to talk to my children or my wife if she has a problem and needs an open ear. In the early years Slik and I would have talks during the day mainly because at the mid to upper teens he didn’t live with us. So when he came out and needed to talk it would be then that something would come up, usually on the weekend because he also worked as well.

My point to this whole story is even though, I have to initiate the conversations with my father you never know when it is going to be the last time you talk to whose you know or someone you can help  open your ears to anyone who needs them anytime of the day or night, whether they would like feed back or just someone to listen to them.  Such as a baby crying when it is feeding time, needs a change or just some attention. Please take the time. Open an ear and if you have a case such as my youngest son who likes to procrastinate or likes to hear himself talk, like Slik has said I have agreed with , ask if it is something that can wait, then go from there.

I have heard stories of people who have opened their ears and responded back to someone who needed it and saved someone from killing themselves just because they had no one else to talk to and soon after they have came across them again and the words Thank You came from his mouth, by you opening your ears and talking to me and your kindness has stopped me from killing myself,  because I found someone who has showed me that there are people out here who care for the lost and lonely like myself.  The soon tears began to flow from the both of them because the gentlemen who opened his ears realized just how lonely this man was and how close he was to death. The other cried because he soon became a permanent resident of the gentle mans home.