Tag Archives: finances

The Love of a spouse

There are many people who have been together for many years whether it is a long term relationship or a marriage. My first marriage lasted three  years, don’t get me wrong it started out great, however it started to crash after about the second year. Going into the third year the I left for a while because we soon had things that we didn’t agree on after awhile, I soon realized   that I needed to go home and try to give it another chance we soon moved that house to a place downtown then money situations started to get in the way, she started to ask her mother for money and when I asked her where she got it she would lie about it, then it came to stealing  money for drugs. I soon left the whole situation for good. After awhile I found a lady that I am still with to this day. It is funny how the whole relationship started. My now wife met my mom first then my mom called me to ask for my assistance in helping her move in with my now wife.
When I got over to the house to help her load up the car, the first thing I said to Pam (wife), was my mom don’t need to live with you she needs to be in a place of her own and I was very boisterous when I said this. I soon found out that she didn’t live very far from me, so I would go down to her house to see my mom, and her of course. There were times I would walk in and tell Pam she looked like (crap) replacing it with the more harsher word), however I was actually telling her she looked Beautiful. trying to hide the fact that I was falling in love with her. I could see she was suffering from pain in the legs by the way she walked, but I didn’t know the extent of her medical problems, which didn’t matter to me. Well unbeknownst to me she was also falling in love with me. Then one night we where sitting on the from porch having a few mixed drinks, and some beers, and because I was feeling the effects of the alcohol  and she said why don’t you stay the night.

I gladly excepted, I was going to sleep on the couch but she said no you can sleep in my bed and that’s when I realized she had feelings for me. Now we know what could happen when this case arises, however, I told her we can’t do this because before this does go that for we need to be clear headed.

Now from previous post you all know that she had two children from a previous marriage, It was very strange because her oldest son was just 6 years my Jr, http://wp.me/p1gcCC- and soon he started to get to know me. Then she also had a daughter  and https://thoughtzfrommyheart.wordpress.com/2011/01/01/a-daughter-grown-up/ one thing I told all of them also their father was, I will never try to replace you, you are welcome here to see your children any time you would like.  Now for a long time it was very touchy, not knowing what to do, what was to come. Her son was always gone, her daughter was gone to her aunts from her fathers side. But my father soon said your taking my piece of machinery, my stepmother said then you can deal with his seizures, Pam gladly said I will. I packed my things that I could in her car and left, went back to her house and had a few more drinks on the front porch.  After awhile she went to lay down I was still listening to cassette tapes so I put a tape in my walkman continued to finish my drink and listen to music. Back then I wouldn’t be caught with out some music playing, now my cassettes are gone but the disc man still runs instead of mp3 players and my oldest son say when are you  going to switch to mp3 disc mans are long gone. I said I probably  won’t, I have to much money invest in CDS to waste the cases are gone so selling them aren’t an option. However as they get scratched I will through them away and not replace them.
Now we just celebrated our 20th anniversary the 13th of this month, when we got married it was on a friday, and many people thought that we wouldn’t last more than six months, I am sure that people in the family were even making bets on it.

Now as I continue with my wife it is a love I can’t deny. We have had are issues and our fights, we have had our spats over money but only because I will take between 7 to 9 dollars for a pack of non- filtered smokes, and sometimes I will get upset because she will want to check the checks to make sure that they are wrote out right and the account numbers are correct,  I still call her if I am out to find out if Ii have enough in my account to get a cup of coffee or smokes if I need them. The biggest problem with most people and finances is people want things they cant have so they use money they don’t have or they take money from their spouse without their knowledge and when the spouse finds out they also find out sooner or later they have taken it for something they shouldn’t have, (drugs, gambling, online porn, you have one person who is so controlling with the money that  if you spend an extra dollar on something you shouldn’t have ie a candy bar for yourself or your child, ect.). My wife and I have enough to live comfortably, any we live with what we have, if I get called to help someone with a car situation and I can do it I will help and I just take what they offer, unless I have set a price for certain jobs. If I feel like just helping people out, I will tell them your problem has been taken care of you can be on your way or I am going home now, and there is no charge.  When I have a doctors appt downtown I will stop and get a coffee and buy someone something and my wife knows about it she don’t say anything.  It is a sad situation because most of the divorces are caused by this, and also due to the fact that or jobs have closed and moved south, alot of them that move will open in the south under a different name so they can hide the fact that they just moved like the Life Savers candy company moved south because it was cheaper for sugar. However if people had a better outlook and focused their lives on Christ, their needs would be taken care of. Honestly I haven’t focused my life totally on Christ, but I can say this with my wife, we have been very comfortable with our financial status. We love each other, we care  about each other and our children are as will no matter how old they are.

The Wife of a LIFETIME!!!

Being married for 16 years and the mother to the 2 children in the recent postings and the mother of a posting yet to come later, she is older than me by 14 years, but hey  the older they are the wiser they are.  As do I she has medical problems and we continue to help each other through them as a spouse should do. When her legs hurt her because of no cartilage in either knee, she gets upset and all I can do is say, I am here to do the things that you can’t such as climb stairs to do the laundry, stand at the stove to cook or clean the kitchen after meals, and you are here to help me with the 1 thing I can’t do is drive, because of a seizure disorder and even after surgery to correct it, I am still unable to get my license because I have to go 1 year without a seizure and it just isn’t going that way, and as I write this post I am getting this strong feeling that the Lord has a reason for this. The biggest situation is what will happen when she is no longer here with us , I guess we will cross that bridge, when the road meets that bridge, because of the situation with our lives being opposite with what she can do and what I can do , I have dedicated a song to her,  Islands in the stream, by Dolly Parton, it describes how different our lives are, but yet the love we have for each other is great, sure as all married couples, we have are differences and disagreements, but we work them out.  In the beginning of our marriage we had alot of arguments and screaming matches, but The one thing that we have agreed on is never fight over finances, that isn’t to say that no you can’t get this or that,  there is the song by Kool and the Gang CHERISH  but when the money has been spent we can only say it is spent and was it necessary to but or could we have gone without it, and then there is the song by Kool and the Gang, Cherish, it describes what we have, everyone cherishes something whether it be money, jewelry, there pets, ect. Don’t get me wrong it is nice to have these things but the best things to cherish is love, memories, and family without these three things what, do we have to hold on to. And with her knee situation, I dedicated this song to her to gave her something to treasure that no one can take from her. So my life with my wife has been a great life over all ….  I HAVE HAD THE LOVE OF A LIFE TIME.
(With the knowledge of my son, he was able to upload this song to finish off this post ) A fitting end I think!!!