Tag Archives: God

Warning:

This post is going to be a strange one !
Recently we had a tornado hit a few miles south of us. Wood TV 8 has detailed stories and videos from land and air of the destruction. As I was in the basement doing some laundry I heard my wife yelling then my son run down stairs with my granddaughter, some time later I came upstairs to hear the stories of how the blind in the dining room by my wife had gone straight up as if someone was raising it, the empty pop cans in my son- in- laws  room had begone to swirl around the room in circles. What had happened was we had been caught in the outer winds of this tornado. We had no clue what had happened until later early morning when it was delcared an EF -1  that had just formed out of no where without warning the National Weather Service didn’t even see it on radar.  It had taken down a tree across the street pulling up a good chunck of the sidewalk with it and blocking the first lane northbound,The next day I went out and found some branches on the ground, the drainspout was knocked of the S.W. corner of the house and one of the shingles was found on the ground, a mile down the road a buildings roof caved in, trees where down all over the place, one house across the street to the North ended up with a tree in his frontroom. I had relief mostly that no one was hurt but it hit that all the families that lost their homes.

Enough of the errie stuff over the next couple of days while I was out doing other things I thought to myself Thank God we could have gotten worse.  The next morning I received a call from my dad asking if we were ok because he had seen on the news that the tornado had hit near us so I had told him what little damage we received, thinking the whole time why was he worried or even called because I hadn’t even heard from him in probably a couple of weeks because of a little situation we had between us, but that only goes to say that through the worst of times family is still there to check on you when you don’t realize or expect it. I didn’t even know that he had seen the news, but I think he watched the news after he got a glimpse of my sisters facebook page after it was posted to my wifes wall. So while others had to rebuild  fix wholes in their roofs, clean up debri, and all the other things that need to be taken care of when a tornado rips through the area, all I had to worry about was a few branches, a shingle and hanging upside down from the roof to fix the drainspout. As if that wasn’t scary enough. I would have to say it wasn’t the first time I have had to make this (dasterdly blood rushing to the brian chore,) but it was something that had to be done. While I was up on the roof after the job was done and I was no longer hanging upside, I still had a feeling of I had God to thank for the little damage that we did receive and that I had to be Greatful that no one was injured or killed. I still have never been in the path of a tornado, and honestly I don’t want to be.

There was recently a post on Face Book that I would like to share.
Cherish

Which also brings me to  another saying that I learned along time ago from a pastor/ friend of mine. Don’t ever say good bye, Always see you later, because you never know if that will be the last time you see them in this life, but you will see them again as long as you are living for God.
Now you say it is hard for you to forget something that someone has done to you. Well I say sure it is, No one said it was going to be, I have a hard time forgetting what my dad did to me and all though I have not officially told him I forgive you, I don’t hold a grudge towards him. I chose to go on with my life and although it still hits me know and then, it is like my epilepsy I think about it for a little while and then it is on with my life. Just like most of you some that has happened in your life, you tend to think about it and then it is gone.  Just as that tornado it came in without warning, your loved one or even you could be taken without warning. Another case in point I was in church about a month and a half ago, and about fifteen minutes into the service I noticed a man  leaving the sancturary pushing an older lady out that was in a wheel chair, as they passed me, her left arm went limp and fell off the arm of the wheel chair. I knew then that the family was going to be mourning this lose. It was a big reminder for all who was there and seen the medics after service.

(So Please in closing forgive all who have done you wrong, cherish what you have, love everyone, and live life to the fullest) !

 

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Many People or One

It has always been said that many people can do many things that’s true, but one person can also do many things. It may take longer to accomplish than with many people but it can be done The difference is as you finish on task you can go onto a more menial task and accomplish one or two of the those, relax for awhile even a day then continue. Start the next day with a couple of small tasks and move to a more time consuming task.

Here I am writing this post and as I do I think of the many things I could do, things that would take time by myself, things that I need to do by myself because it is something I must do myself and then there is the fact that I just wont ask because they are so menial there is no need for help. Sometimes I just don’t ask for help because I can move faster when I am by myself and I don’t have to worry about having someone in the way. But I have been getting to lax in my duties and need to get back into my roll as a husband, father, and homeowner. I do my own painting when needed because if a mess is made it gets picked up right then and I can’t blame anyone for the job isn’t done right. I do most of the repairs on my vehicles if i can, and yes I even do the house cleaning, laundry, dishes ect.

I also do the the tasks of a man such as repairs that need to be done within the home, vehicle and alike within my capabilities which I love and live to do. There is nothing more that I look forward than repairs. Yes sometimes I get overwhelmed, with all that needs to be done especially when to many things compile at once like a wall needs to be painted, a drain backs up due to tree roots growing through the sewer pipes out at the road so then I have to get the painting all the while try to keep what I can with the sewer until I can get a plumber out to take care of the drain, and that could be a problem in itself when itself when it happens on the weekend which it used to.

There is always one thing that stands beside me and everyone else has, if alot of people  would look for. Most would know where this is going and sure I am no stranger to this but yes I haven’t been following this path however my goal is to strive and working on this path is getting there.

Triads is a group that has been formed and  in session for years at church that we attend and my son author  of http://dailyaspects.wordpress.com/ has invited me to attend as well as getting a word in every so often if not every day to read my Bible daily, a gift from him and his wife  to help me to reach this goal.   I am not saying that I can’t rely on God, I know He is there and will help me when I struggle, but I also know that He will let me struggle awhile to see if I can figure it out on my own. But as every one who knows God will not give you more than you can handle.

If one person can’t do it because it is a project made for two or more than you need to find more, as many as you need however you still will need some help from the One and Only that is above all else. No one can see Him, but he is there, and even though you think you are doing it all yourself, your not.

Lets go back and look at it from the sidelines
https://thoughtzfrommyheart.wordpress.com/?s=Time+to+play+ball

If it weren’t for God

1. You wouldn’t be here to do the job yourself if possibly
2. You wouldn’t have the friends to help you couldn’t
3. You wouldn’t have the materials or tools needed

Break it all down God design us all without Him we are nothing, With Him we are everything.
So do all thing in the Name and for The Glory of God!

Dealt another blow:

As I sit here tonight wondering what it is that keeps me going, It surprises me that the answer is ongoing, Nothing I can say or do can really help answer anything, But God answers everything Sometimes it is hard for a human to say. For some it is the issue of their ego, others it is the issue that the word sorry, is a sign of weakness, and still there are other reasons, it all depends on how a person was raised. Myself for those of you who have been following my blog know that my life was not easy, those who just know catch this a heads up can’ be found under the  posts About Me
https://thoughtzfrommyheart.wordpress.com/2011/01/22/about-me
and also the one tilted My Father was very hard
https://thoughtzfrommyheart.wordpress.com/2011/02/16/my-father-who-was-very-hard/

I have been dealt many blows and because of that, it has been hard for me to admit that I was wrong at times. However aver the past few weeks I have come to realize that on somethings, are my fault and owning up  to them are better than however, I am not going to back down when I know I am right or I feel that the situation doesn’t doesn’t warrant any further discussion or argument. It has always been said that it is best to bite your tongue than argue, which is the best but to totally stop this from happening is to say that is enough or there will be no further discussion.

As for being a person having epilepsy just like others who have it arguments aren’t very good. I have just call my neurologist to report I am not going to report to my psychology appointments, because the last appointment didn’t go well the therapist on numerous occasions cut me off, blamed me for everything that happened and ridiculed me for trying to teach my son the facts of life and also get him in the kitchen to teach him some cooking, because we all know that fast food is expensive, and a home cooked meal is better tasting and healthier, but according to him at thirteen he is too young to be learning this trait, what every happened to home economics. Maybe I am wrong but I don’t see whats wrong with putting my son in the kitchen. If he learns nothing else from me at least he will know how to cook a good home cooked meal and some day when he is married he can get in the kitchen and surprise his wife for a holiday or after a late night at work or just because.

Food for thought for all those who read this, How many have had their children in the kitchen helping prepare meals whether big or small, an everyday meal or a holiday0531_dinner-plate_hf

 

How many of you have had them come in and say can I help or what can I do? The funny thing is I forgot to mention is my son and I have had spats because when I am in the kitchen asking to help, I will tell him to get out, and then later down the road he will yell at me when he says I am hungry, I say go cook something he say I don’t know how you always kicked me out. But the only thing in this whole  saga is, it is when I am preparing a big meal, and it is towards the end and I am trying to make sure that everything gets done at the same time.

As for me I will eat other things if there is nothing let from the meal that was prepared, than to have my family go hungry. For me it isn’t hard to go to the fridge and find something. I would rather them eat and be full. Yet again I know that it isn’t good for me not to eat properly, but what can I say, that is how I feel.  I can’t express it any other way.

Overloaded and Cold Shouldered

A new beginning, I have started bible study with my two older children and wife, as we hold two Bible studies daily with my oldest Children as the leaders of the Studies, each one taking a class and teaching it. I thought this song is fitting for this post giving this credit where it is due back to the author of http://dailyaspects.wordpress.com/ he posted in response to one of my recent posts and I felt compelled to respond. He knows all to well that I have had a ice cold heart when it comes to certain things I don’t show emotions of sorry at funerals. It wasn’t until I heard the songs on this post that all I could do was cry I had held so much pain and anger in my life that after this song[

Now with that being said it also went with the post that softened a heart that was so overloaded as a levy unable to opened yet unable to break, not even the slightest leak or puncture could be applied to it no matter how hard anyone tried. But it took among the a song I posted and the two songs that he posted this

which in itself had a huge impact on the prayer that I had wrote earlier in the day. Needless to say all three songs had finally made me cry so hard that after 15 minutes my eyes were so dry they were red from being blood shot. The next song had another totally different effect on my however it still had a remarkable direct impact towards my hardened heart and struggling life. The rainmaker for me, tear jerker whatever you want to call it. I have told my family that the last time I cried that hard was back in the mid nineties when my wife had just got the computer and was up all night on that, and even then it was about three minutes and that was it. The longest time I cried before this was after my wife had had her hysterectomy, the doctors had given her some patches to help with those mood swings, my daughter

thought that it would be funny to put it in my coffee pot, needless to say my emotions where all over the place crying but yet so mad not knowing why i was crying I was telling everyone to get out of my house and in NOT so nice of words either this was in 2007 I believe. But again that didn’t loosen the hardened heart. If anything I think it hardened it even more I had no clue what happened until the next morning when I went to make another pot of coffee and when I questioned each and every one of the Children I was told by each of them it was me. I knew it had to be one of them and the truth always comes out so I waited, and sure enough, it did slip later that it was my daughter, only to be confirmed by her husband after she got drunk one day and let it slip to him also. Now my son told me that once I did cry it was going to hit me like a brick, believe me I didn’t care how hard it hit, I just wanted it to hit and soon. I couldn’t hold the pain and sadness any more, my shoulders where already about to crush from all the weight being loaded and not unloaded, like a City Plow being loaded with salt or dirt for the icy roads, bucket after bucket being dumped. As I watched the videos It was like that same city plow as it went up and down the city streets spreading the its load to help with the ice, But as I got done with the whole post and hibernated to my room, that bucket had just dumped its’ whole load of salt and as it piled all in one spot I could feel the load on my shoulders getting lighter and lighter and as I sat up I could see the son shine through the window for the first time that day. I had recently been on my mail and seen this posted from one of my gmail friends.

Crying

Never looking at it that way, But I also have never looked at it the way many fathers have taught their sons that crying is for babies and for the weak, I have just ( some would say a person with no remorse). Myself I would just have to say I have been holding so much pain and anger that I can’t or wont show emotions. If I did it had to be a very painful situation and those such things haven’t happened as of yet.  All those I dearly Love are still alive.

Change of Heart, Mind and Soul:

The heart can be broken by lifes’ many trials. Abuse, lies, mistrust, dead end roads. All leading to one thing. Many times I have tried to walk the road of Faith following Gods’ guidance, and as many times as I have tried to follow I have failed twenty times over if not more. I have always chalked it up as the trials tribulations, and struggles of life. Which is easier to do then take on the responsibility and say what did I do wrong to cause this problem. Maybe I didn’t have a part in it, but there was a reason for this to come my way. It was predestined for me to have a son even though I didn’t want a child, due to the fact of Epilepsy ran on both sides of my family, God had other plans. Then came to pass that my wife was carrying twins, another trait of the Wright family, but again, God had other plans. We still have one child, at one when we found out that one of the fetuses had not made it, again I questioned God and my trust was broken, I had lost my way. Even though I had told my wife when they told her there was no child there I told her, that the tech that did the ultrasound messed up and missed it. I told her that the baby is there and to have Faith in God even though I had already began to question him and my faith had already deteriorated to the point of nil. The tech came back from talking to our family doctor, and she had told us the doctor said there was a baby in there and she had to do another test, so “LET THE TEST BEGAN” again I waited impatiently and as she continued to probe, I began to hear the heartbeat of an unborn child and my eyes began to tear up as I looked at my wife and said there he is.
As I was typing the last phrase one song came to mind, and again as I listened to it, again my eyes began to tear as I thought about that day when I was in the hospital just standing there one minute questioning God, yet telling my wife to have Faith that God will see all things through and the baby will be there, just fine.

At this point I began to ask myself why would God allow this child to be alive after I questioned him, and let my faith fall so far.  Many years of people lying, abusing, abandoning, denying, mistrusting ect, . I despised it, hated it and didn’t want nothing to do with them. Now I was doing the same thing to God that I despised. Why would he save my child. I stop and think about that every now and then. I mean it isn’t that hard to figure out why, Our God is an Awesome God 

Now as time goes by I began to wonder why I continuously wonder what happened to make things so haphazzard in my life, what I had done to let things get so bad that I let myself get so lost in life that it is so disastrous,I have lost touch with reality sometimes.

I sometimes want to cry but life has been so cruel and hard that my when I hear a sad song see a touching movie, go to a funeral, the most that happens my eyes will water as if I could easily pass it off as a yawn or something is in my eye.
There is a song that I would always tear to 

But the one I really love to listen to is I used to listen to this song alot when I first got married to Pam back in 1994.  At this time we had gone to church every Sunday. At first I thought she was very pushy about going to church and because of my background, I didn’t want nothing to do with the thought of it, but none the less I went putting my feelings aside because of the way I felt for her. I was also a person on my own and when we first got together we would sit on the front porch in the morning every day including Sundays and have drinks including my specialty Manhattans on the rocks. Something told me that all would stop, and I told her then 14 year son that I thought his mother was going to far with this church thing. Needless to say that didn’t last very long and back to the weeks of having drinks everyday, and I thought that was greater than going to church any day. This is also coming from a person who went to church as a child who went to church on Sundays just to get away from getting a beating on Sunday morning before the day can even start. So in retrospect of all this, I would have to say, over the many years of constant
heartaches and abuse and then the heartaches and abuse I have caused to others, the worst of all heartaches and abuse I caused was that I caused to the Lord and even knowing that he sent his Son to die on the Cross to die for our sins, He still loved me enough to give me a son, Loved me enough to save me through all these years,and to help me go through all the trials and tribulations with the love and support of a great Father. For many people it is hard to fathom that one Man can do so many things and be in so many places at one time. But through him all things are possible.  Then comes the time for judgement when we all have to face him to answer for our sins.

When that day comes are you going to be able to answer to those sins and say to God that you are sorry for those sins, can you actually give the Greatest Creator of All an honest and humble answer or will you be awestruck as this song indicates 

At this point in life I could honestly say Lord, You, have sent you Son to die for our sins and washed them away, and that nothing I have done in my time on earth allows me a place in heaven. But when I am face to face, I know I would be the later, not knowing what to say, myself I would be tongue tied and twisted. What about you?

Painful Thoughts:

So many times I feel lonely, sad and don’t understand why. Some may say it is because I turn 40 and I am having a mid life crisis but I have been feeling this way for a long time. There are so many great things that are going on in my life. I have a wonderful family right her in my home. I can’t express the feelings that I should have because of these wonderful things. Instead I sit here wondering, what did I do in my younger years to have these emotions now. I guess until I have found these answers, I will always hold these hurt feeling and a hide a face of sorrow and despair. I see people all the time walking down the streets smiling and happy and I wonder is this just a front they are putting on or are they really happy, I see people who are sad and think that what can I do to brighten up their day, remember it may only take a couple of words to brighten up a persons day GOD BLESS YOU, Have a wonderful day, or lending a  hand with something even if it is a complete stranger, remember watch yourself, p1gcCC-gN). Open your ears to someone who needs a person to talk to, without judgement for their actions, but lead them in a direction that will help them. Just as it doesn’t take much to lift a persons Spirits, it takes even less to knock them down, I know from experience I have not only been on both ends of that, but I have also done the same to others, sometimes not even realizing it, so watch how you say things to people know who you are talking to and get a full picture of what is going on before you say anything, because whether you realize it or not you could crush someones spirit and they may not say anything to you and, the one thing my father always told me it is the quiet ones who you have to watch out for. They are the ones that you don’t know what they are going to do. Example look at the boys of the Columbine Shooting. They where constantly being picked on at school and beat by there father, but never showed any feeling about it.  Now with that being said, I am not going to go and do some thing like that. Such a tragedy for all involved. Any time there is such an attack or attack of any kind  I feel sad, upset and hurt, the most recent the attack at the Aurora Theater, I told my wife it is safer to watch movies at home, talk about jobs going out of business, now the theaters are going to start shutting down because of the stupidity of one person.  Think about the emotional impact it is going to have on all those. Now alot of you are going to ask why is this post all over the place, But if you look at the whole post you will see that it all ties into one outline, Painful Thoughts

Make a difference in someones’ life

I have been through some rough times, good times some great times, some terrible times. Through all the negative aspects of life there has been people there to help me through it.  All my life of abuse, foster homes,  getting into trouble with the law, and the thought of not knowing which way my life was going to turn out, whether I was going to end up in jail, prison going on the right track or worse dead. Even with that being done to me I vowed that I will never put my son what I was put through in life, He has heard some of the horrible things I have gone through. Again I haven’t showed him some of the better things that life can give, but most importantly I have always tried to help him by showing him that the smallest things to help someone can always show that person the love is found not just in a family member or friend but also in a stranger.

Now with that being said I still had some one to help me through them. I try to help people with there times of need as well, sometimes I can, sometimes I can’t, the worst problem for me is when I have to tell them I can’t. The other day I was at a grocery store and I seen a customer in the parking lot with a tire that was low on air, I walked up to the car and looked in the tread and told them I could see a nail or some type of metal sticking in the center of the tread, putting air in it would hold for a while but replacement would be necessary before they, lost  a tire, did damage to the alignment or worse. Little things like that are just things that make a difference in a persons life. then you have the bigger adjustments that require a specialist, someone with degree, such as a mechanic who can diagnose an internal problem with the engine who has the right tools to diagnose and fix those issues, a doctor who can help a patient who can deliver a baby, and stop a constant bleeding with the help of many interns, which was  the case with my wife when our son was born. She had a rough pregnancy to began with, at the hospital twice a week, getting tests done,  then one day she had an issue at home where she had to be rushed to the hospital where she had to have an ultrasound and at first she told the technician that she told them that she carried her babies on the left, they came back and said there was no baby there, I then told her in a strong tone trying to hold it together not showing how much I was hurting, God will help us through this. The Tech went and called the family doctor told tech tech there was a baby there was a baby there now she had better find it, so the tech went back and did another ultrasound and sure enough there was a heart beat it was then that I started tearing up, still not wanting to show it, I said thank you Lord as I turned my head so my wife didn’t see me.
I guess by now you can see where this is going,  in case you haven’t, no one can do any thing on their own they need help from someone, yes it is nice to have someone on earth they can talk to or like in my wife’s case the doctor said that even though he had the eight interns there with him to help with the bleeding the blood to replace all the blood that she had lost and the God on his side, “she would not have made it”. Now keep in mind this is from a doctor, and the reason why I expressed this is, I also believe that without GOD in everyone life whether it be myself someone in my life, you our life they would not have the knowledge that they have right know. Granted some of you do not believe in the some God I do, but I can only write as I see the LIFE I live, This is how I live. If it wasn’t for Gods’ intervention, I wouldn’t have survived some of the things I have gone through I have . Some times when we mess with something that God has created, we could put ourselves into a predicament that we don’t understand,  God could have said you are messing with what I have planned for your life, I have killed a part of your brain for a reason and now you are going to have it removed to stop the seizures, or I am going to let you have the surgery, to give the surgeons do this for practice due to the fact that I was a rare case with having three different kinds. But because I have planned this for your life I am going to leave you with the worst kind of Seizure there is.  With this being said without this would there be Neurologists there to help keep seizures under control. God has put a brain in all of us to retain the knowledge that we hold to help other, now matter how big or small it may be, it is our duty to put this knowledge to work to help others. Could this be the case with me, I don’t know.
Can you trust God with your life?

When something goes wrong in your life can you honestly say what was the cause for it. I know I can’t, such as my last attack on May 27 that said I way dehydrated, but I had been drinking water all day and couldn’t figure out how I could become dehydrated in such a short time while I was out mowing the lawn, let me also mention that I also had water A bottle of ice water out side that I was drinking on periodically. I know in my life and can honestly say that I have now answer for what goes on. Can you give a total stranger a bottle of water on a hot summers day when you can see that he/see is sweating or another person a coat in the winter when you can see that he/she is freezing a pair of shoes of your feet when their own are falling apart. I have as I am sure many of you have. It is those small things that show the strangers there are people who care for those who are less fortunate. It is the less fortunate that matter the most, but when you do these things do not look for pay, do it out of the kindness of your heart. When I was younger we could offer strangers a ride and not think twice about it, now there is the issues of false accusations of sexual, physical assault, to the person you picked up, and don’t even think about picking up a child, murder, and this can happen to either the driver or the person picked up. So know all you can do is offer a coat if it is cold, a glass of water if someone comes to your house screaming they are in danger and the police you better pray there is someone there, preferably of the opposite sex so you can get them in you house until the police can get there or charges may be placed upon you for something,  just for trying to help. In one way or another I or someone I know has been in one or more of these situations. I am thankful I not only had my two people with in all situations I was in but most of all I had the LORD by my side. In just a simple case of two adult female strangers coming to my house telling me that someone was chasing them with a gun, I told them to step in and get down I had my wife and daughter there, the Lord kept us all safe so this person(s) didn’t find them until the police arrived and with all three of them give me the protection I needed, against allegations that these two could’ve throw against me. The moral to this story is even though you try to help people by showing love with the knowledge that the Lord has given you, you also have to put the extra knowledge into play, to help protect yourself against the serpent.

Translated for this story
If it had not been for The Lord and my wife and Daughter,  these two victims of the person chasing them with a gun could have, told the police in there desperate time of trouble, looking for a safe place they had seen the light on and quickly came to my house, assuming it was safe at my assuring voice for them to come in for safety, they did so,  (The Serpent) at which time I had taken advantage of one or both of them and they had been there longer than what I had said. Claiming I had supposedly called the cops at a certain time when in fact I had called them later giving me time to do the act. When they didn’t want the police called in the first place.
Even cab drivers have a dangerous job they do their jobs trying to make a living and day after day all they want to day is make it home safe. Most actions in your life you do without looking for payment in return like taking care of your family members when they need a hand, giving a piece of clothing when you see that someone needs it more than you do, giving a helping hand. It doesn’t matter the situation, if you do it go ahead and do it. If you can’t don’t try it. Always be truthful about what you are doing, and whatever you do protect yourself. Use the knowledge that God has given you through generations that has been passed from family member to family member whether it is your family or another families, it all had  to come from GOD. Remember the Brain was designed by him and only HIM.