The Flip Side of Bullying:

Recently I read a post from a fellow blogger, http://help-me-rhonda.com/2012/08/22/the-rest-of-the-story/ .Now i am, as many of you know that there is alot of bulling that goes on where a person has been bullied so bad that they have committed suicide or went and killed the person(s) involved, not only over the bulling but also because they would go to someone to let them know about it and the person(s) wouldn’t do anything or when someone tried the bulling got worse. Here is one of many examples, another example is of a 10 year old , The next link is about two students that have gone to the extreme and actually taken out their frustration on the bullies amongst others as well. Now not all the people who were killed or injured in the video were involved with the bulling, but that just goes to show how tormented the minds can get, when the bulling can get to the extreme and the bullied feel they have to do whatever it takes to make sure their points clear. ” I am not going to go on being BULLIED“.
How ever in the end the two students who had caused all the chaos had committed suicide after killing 11 males and 5 females.  Another sad story of bulling was taken right from a local new station WOOD TV 8.

How ever not all Bulling cases end in suicide, besides the post
I have linked to in the first line, there was a recent story that takes place in  a little city of West Branch Mi. Where a teenage Girl was bullied into not going to her Homecoming. The teenager turned that bulling into something just the opposite and with the help of her mother and the City she went to her homecoming.

In some cases bullies, become this way because they are insecure about them self, trying to  act big in front of their friends, or just think it is fun to pick on someone smaller then them, someone who has a medical condition, such as Cerebral Palsy, and other conditions that would impair speech like M.S., now the ones that have just started to bully, if they get a big response of laughter, from a crowd they will continue, on the other hand if just one person steps in to help stop it, The bully will then move on to another target, and the cycle continues. The cycle will continue unless the bully finds a target that will put the bully in his place (sad to say) but I think all bloggers can put into perspective what I mean by in his PLACE. Which will then turn the cycle back on the first bully and the cycle wont go the way I had stated at first because the first targets would be laughing at the target because of what he put them through. Now the story is going to end in one of three ways, two of which I have listed above. The third he/she is going to say I deserved this and I am strong enough to take it. I am going to go on as if it doesn’t matter. However that very seldom happens, because once the bully finds that the tactics that were working are no longer working they will go to the more extreme and get more and more help from other students and more volgure with their words and other tactics that the target won’t be able to handle it. Not to long ago there was a student in  a southern state who committed suicide because her boyfriend had sent a mass text of a pic of her upper half uncovered, which she had sent to him, thinking he would keep it for himself.  In closing all I can say is, some cases a bully can be read like a book, and can be stopped depending on why he started bulling, who he is bulling, how long, what kind of crowd he has and how big of a crowd. With that being said sometimes the bigger the crowd the harder it is on the bully if you are able to knock him down and get him to stop because, then all the people he thought he had behind him are now laughing at him because they now see him as a nobody who was just picking on people to boost their egos ect.   A good song related to what I am trying to say in reguards to which bullies you are try to confront  and the ones to leave alone is Best Gamblers Song ever.

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15 thoughts on “The Flip Side of Bullying:

  1. Rhonda

    As long as there are people willing to stand up to, and take on, these bullies, there is hope. It is when people stand by, silent in their complicity, that the cycle continues. Thanks you for being one to speak out. Thank you for showing you are one to stand up and say NO. Bullies are only bullies if they are allowed to be…there are as many bullies who are victims as there are victims…we need to be able to pull them aside, or stand up to them face to face, in order to stop this horrible cycle of violence.

    Reply
    1. balding2soon Post author

      Thank you for your reply, the sad truth is there are more people who would rather laugh at the targets than stand up for them, there are three reasons for there actions for this. 1). Because they like the laughter. 2). Because they like to see the torment the target is going through, 3) they are two afraid to do anything about it, whether it is step up and help the target or get someone older to help with the situation.

      Reply
  2. T

    Thank you for this post. As a child I moved around a lot sometimes 2 or 3 times a school year. I was bullied a lot. Back in those days I remember telling adults what was going on and being pretty much told I was acting like a baby and I needed to be tougher. The bullies always seemed to get away with the way they behaved. By high School I found out that if I called their bluff most bullys would run away one time I even stood up to a girl who was way bigger than me and she pushed me i lost my temper and punched her right in the nose, somehow we managed to fall down on the ground with me on top giving me the lucky advantage to win the fight. Just as you wrote when the fight was over the other kids laughed at her and became the hero. Nobody ever bothered me again and I spent the rest of Highschool playing the tough girl though i was actually not, it was my survival mechanism and the damage had already been done to my self esteem. As I grew into an adult i began suffering from social anxiety and panic attacks. I just now got a grip on it all pretty recently during the last 2 years since I found Jesus and a good Christian counselor, I am now 48 years old. I also Loved the old song you used, i used to sing it with my brother as a kid and know all the words but never thought about it like I just did in hearing it again as an adult in a whole new light. Thank you for standing up and writing against bullying it is something that we all need to try to help get stopped.

    Reply
    1. balding2soon Post author

      I try to do my best and although I don’t have a lot of followers or comments as others, sure it would be nice to have more but hey what can I say, I have one follower who follows and a ghost commentor, yes it is my son author of http://dailyaspects.wordpress.com/ as I have told him comments are how I get knowledge, reading between the lines is another way everyone does it whether they no it or not.

      Reply
  3. Opinionated Man

    I like the post, the title was a bit misleading. I expected a different approach, but I am glad we agree that bullies need to have their power and influence taken away. I am also happy to see that others have taken up this banner. It is an important topic.

    Reply
      1. Opinionated Man

        I thought you were going to justify bullying. LoL, sorry it is really early in the AM and I am tired so my reading is probably not great. Liked the post, thanks for sending me the link!

    1. balding2soon Post author

      I would also like to think and thank all those that are out their that agree with the fact that bulling isn’t nice. My oldest son the author of dailyaspects.wordpress.com is as normal as can be but he can act very strange and sometimes very goofy, the worst the about it is if you didn’t know him some people would make fun of him.

      Reply
  4. cindy0803

    I agree that where there are people who are willing to stand up to bullies, there is hope. HOWEVER, and this is a ginormous HOWEVER, we should not expect children to have to do this.

    Let me explain. I was a scrawny, smart kid. Even so, God made me to never back down from a fight. There was no bully that ever got away with thinking they could bully me. It was a stressful way to grow up. It is stressful as an adult. I will never be voted Miss Congeniality.

    I have a 9-year-old daughter and I do not want part of her education to be learning to deal with a bully at this age. Yes, we will walk through scenarios in the event they should happen, but I WILL NOT throw her to the wolves and expect her to gnash and claw her way to the top, or heaven forbid, wind up someone’s dog bone.

    I have volunteered in the elementary school where my daughter attended (she is homeschooled this year, and not for bullying, btw) and I can tell you that there is a two-pronged problem there. As far as bullying goes, there is too little competent supervision in the places and activities where most bullying occurs (lunch and recess). This is a direct result of the changes in duties of the teachers over the years and the budget cut backs. As if this were not bad enough, as a result of these cutbacks, teachers and administrators have relied more and more on parent volunteers.

    Who do you think a lot of these volunteers are? Bullies. Adult bullies who are there to make sure that their child is the best, the brightest, the most popular, etc. They are not interested in making sure their children are good citizens and treat their classmates well. In fact, they think it is good that their children push other children around because it means they are training up to be a “good leader”. There are parents who are sending their 6-almost-7-year-olds to kindergarten because they want them to have a leg up academically or – get this – they are thinking about giving them an extra year to grow so that when they hit high school they will be a better football, basketball or baseball player. EGADS! This is the type of mentality you are dealing with in public schools.

    The children are great. Even the problem children are ready to be guided to be good citizens and to achieve academically, but the whole system is out of whack. There is so much back-and-forth finger pointing that goes on, that no one has to actually do anything except convince their cadre that it is not “their” fault but the “other guy’s”.

    And that does not even get us into why the schools are churning out kids that can’t read, write and do arithmetic despite spending more per child than pretty much any time in the history of this country. I can bend your ear on that one, too.

    The bottom line is that this is not just about incompetent teachers, but is also about trimmed budgets (say for PE teachers who supervise all recesses), teachers no longer eating lunch with their students, and parents who get offended every time you relay that their children may have behaved in a less than stellar fashion. And, oh, have you seen the way adults slam each other on social media like Facebook and the way some of the commentators on certain news and radio programs talk, and even our Christian leaders talk about their fellow man? Do you then wonder why we have so much difficulty teaching children how to treat each other?

    The best solution would be to make sure the kids do not have a chance to bully because, quite frankly, what do you tell a kid who has bullied someone? You ask them to apologize. And what do you tell a kid who is being apologized to? You ask them to accept the apology. I don’t know why you ask the kids to shake hands; that seems forced. Bottom line: Just make sure it doesn’t happen. As a parent, that is what I expect if I send my kid off 7 hours per day into someone else’s care.

    Reply
    1. balding2soon Post author

      I do agree, although it has been 33 plus years since elementary, and the economy not being as bad as it is now we also had teachers for supervisors, at one of the schools it was one of the lunch aids. With that being said this certain aid she would provoke two of the biggest students (one of whom was her son) to go pick on smaller students. And we couldn’t get the principal to believe us, so a couple of the parents took it to the superintendent, at that time it was dealt with. But now it isn’t just happening in just lunch and recess it is in the halls, locker room, and as the teachers in high school are in the doorway watching the halls the bullies are now in the classrooms. And I agree with your statement asking a bully to apologize and bullied to accept, just doesn’t work. The bully has done this for so long the a simple I am sorry is three words, that roll out of his/her mouth as easy as a basketball, rolls of a basketball players hand on the court. As far as the bullied, accepting only goes so far, how many times can he/she accept one from the same bully. The attitude that you mention has to start at home and parents need to teach their children that bulling is not an acceptable attitude. I have a twelve year old and I have taught him watch how you treat other because it will come back to bite you in the butt some day, and if it isn’t that one you are bulling, there is an older brother, cousin, uncle, ext if they can’t do it themselves, There is always someone out there that is bigger than you, and someday the day may come where you will never be able to bully another person again. Now some schools have Teachers packing guns, some schools have security who are carrying, There is a alternative school near my house, where they have a police officer stationed at the school. If parents like you and I and the many others out there that teach their children that school if for learning academics and not bulling.

      Reply

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