Loved, Lost, But not Forgotten

Many people loose at least one person that they cherished so mush that they wish they were still here, could come back, wished they were dead so they could see them again or wished they had gone first so they didn’t have to be left here without the one they had lost. I am reminded of this on numerous occasions not because I have lost someone that close to me yet, but when a family member or friend does die I can see the pain and heartache in those left behind. Today I can still see it in my fathers eyes every now and then when my step mothers name is mentioned, My wife name when her fathers name is mentioned, last week we recently lost a cousin on my fathers side the only people that showed any pain were his children and wife of thirty four years. Now every one shows pain differently, such as myself. I have been through so much pain as I child I don’t cry that much, and if I do it hasn’t been over the death of a family member.Believe me with a big family like mine there have been many people pass over the years, some could call me and have called me cold blooded, but what could I say their is alot.
My life was changed in many ways when I got married to my wife Pam, with an already made family, (which let me say didn’t matter I was used to that)  being raised in a home with four step sisters and one step brother. Now the death of my wife and my children blood, step, inlaws, that’s a different story  I still don’t show alot of emotion, sometimes I hold it in, sometimes it isn’t worth it because I wasn’t close enough to the person or the pain to bad to relive it. However the lose of a mother or Father even though the pain and heartache I went through when I was younger from both of them I would cry.
Then again who know I might even be gone before any of them are.
The voice also say alot when a person is pain at the lose of a close family member, point in case below is a link from an adopted niece Bianca H. Morrow who wrote this song for her grandmother who passed away. Keep your ears tuned to the lyrics, and you’ll be able to read between the lines to feel the pain I am talking about.